


i guess we're all one bad day away from a hospital bed

by RainCoveredLens, ToMarsAndBeyond3



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Emotional Manipulation, I suggested torturing some people and sarah actually let me, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Whump, but like not in a kinky way, hooooo boy are you in for some shit, it's an actual thing that happens to dirk and is taken seriously, todd and dirk have a very complicated relationship all throughout this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2020-06-03 03:11:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19455121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainCoveredLens/pseuds/RainCoveredLens, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToMarsAndBeyond3/pseuds/ToMarsAndBeyond3
Summary: After a night on the town in an attempt to hide his feelings for Dirk, Todd goes home with a man he met at a bar. But when he wakes up he finds himself tied to a chair and at the mercy of Dirk's childhood monster, Osmund Priest. The universe seems to have abandoned the agency and their friends, and as they suffer and uncover secrets never met for their eyes, they learn a very important lesson.Once lost, some things are gone forever, and Mr. Priest is determined to see to their destruction.





	1. Chapter 1

Todd felt groggy as he finally came to, like there was corton in his mind. He knew a couple things for sure; he was tied up - to a chair it would seem - and couldn’t feel his hands, the air was cold, and there was no light at all. He tried to move and found an excruciating pain in his side. 

Jesus, what had the guy at the bar given him? And better question, where the hell was he?

"Nine o' clock," said a voice from just behind Todd's head. It was southern, but the accent was thicker than Martin's. "Shouldn't ya' be goin' to work now?"

Todd wasn’t positive, but he was pretty sure that was the same guy he had been talking to you the night before. Was it nine in the morning? How long had he been unconscious?

"What do ya' think? Wanna go to work?" Arms draped around his shoulders in a way that was almost, almost casual.

“Does it really matter what I say, or, are we just gonna stay here?“ Todd asked, trying for his best snarky attitude. Which was rather hard, considering he was in incredible pain.

"Oh, I could see what Svlad saw in you until you opened your mouth." The man sighed and pulled back, walking a few feet away from Todd but still staying out of his line of sight.

Svlad. Todd hated that name.

“That’s not his name.“ He said, straining against the ties on his wrist. “Who the fuck are you?“

"Oh well I forgot to introduce myself last night, that's my fault." There was a quiet laugh, a chilling sound.

The man was rather tall, built more like Martin was, but that was where the similarities started to get a little strange. He did look like Martin, but there were too many scars in strange places and the smile on his lips was more sinister than anything Martin could produce.

"That ain't professional of me. You can call me Mr. Priest."

Mr. Priest. As in Osmund Priest. The Priest.

Todd tried not to show just how terrified he actually was.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick with Ozzy.” Todd muttered.

"Then I'll cut into ya' again," Priest said. He stepped forward, taking a handful of Todd's hair and yanking far too hard. "You are a godsend."

“Hey- fu- just, get off!” Todd huffed, trying not to start crying from the pain in his side.

"Alright. Then what's my name?" A sweet smile crossed Priest's face, and his other hand reached to tap Todd's side gently. Todd winced at the small spikes of pain.

Stupid Priest.

“Mr. Priest.” Todd muttered through clenched teeth.

Priest let go of Todd, taking a sto back and wiping his hands on his shirt.

"Ken insists I gotta clean up my own mess this time," he said, a frustrated look on his face. "So I can't just go in there and get all messy. You were a godsend, I'll turn ya' into the perfect little tool to get Svlad yet."

None of that sounded good, absolutely none of it.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to make a mess.” Todd said quietly, trying to figure out how to play this. From everything he knew about Priest, he was fucked, but, maybe if he just agreed with him, it would be fine.

"You know how to play the field, don't ya? How many bad situations have ya' gotten into?" Priest tilted his head to the side, pulling a little pocket knife out to run his finger along the edge of it.

“A few.” Todd said, keeping his eye on the motion. “I mean, this is probably the worst, so, congrats, I guess.”

"I plan to exceed it." Priest bent down, and with his height that meant he was right in front of Todd again. "Think he's wonderin'? Svlad was always so anxious, but that's probably my doin'."

“What time is it?” Todd asked, trying to stay calm. 

"Oh, I'm not tellin' ya. And I took your watch."

“I just, I mean, he knows I went out last night, I’m typically late after stuff like that, so, probably won’t start worrying until, at least 10:30.” Todd said slowly, feeling panic finally start to set in.

"Oh, oh, I already took a nice little picture. They'll get it tonight in their mailboxes," Priest said quietly. "I did take somethin' from ya' for a little extra cash, but don't worry, I got permission from my boss first."

“Here’s hoping I don’t have kidney issues.” Todd muttered, frowning. “You printed a picture and mailed it to them? Really?”

Priest just shrugged; he made a violent gesture, his fist slamming into Todd's side much harder than before. Todd yelped, taken by surprise and trying to curl around the pain coming from his wound.

“Dude! What the-”

"That's not my name." Priest repeated the motion, but Todd couldn't move forward again because the knife was at his throat.

“Stop, stop, just- I’m sorry!” He coughed, tears in his eyes as he felt certain he was about to throw up.

"Hm." Priest pulled the knife back, clearly unamused. "When was the last time ya' ate?"

“At the bar.” Todd muttered. He tried to breathe slowly, hoping that would help the pain.

"Nine hours ago," Priest said, looking down as he typed something into his phone.

“Is, there a reason you need to know that?” Todd asked quietly, lancing around the room. “Scheduling meals?”

"What the fuck else would I be doin'?" Priest set his phone and his knife down. Then he stepped behind Todd, taking his chair and hauling it up to face the other side. "Sorry your room's a little small. You'll be stayin'."

“Should have seen my dorm room in college.” Todd said, glancing toward the door. It was just a door with a pane of glass. He could break that probably.

"Well, that's true." Priest rolled his eyes again. "Might get ya' a mattress when I decide ya' can get out of your chair, but they're a little expensive."

“Whatever you think, ma- Mr. Priest.” Todd said, trying not to sound too indignant.

"You're a little too rude, tryin'a play me." There was a quiet shuffling after that, and then a piece of fabric was wrapped so tightly around Todd's mouth it pinched his skin. "I stole the tie from your boyfriend, hope ya' don't mind."

Todd made a rather pained sound, trying to struggle away and failing. Maybe playing nice was the wrong move.

"Oh do ya' got somethin' to say? Well, go ahead. I'm listen." Priest finally leaned back, watching Todd with a raised eyebrow.

“I, I don’t know.” Todd said quietly, glancing as much as he could at Priest. Being agreeable was bad, being argumentative was worse. “What, what’s the right answer?”

"Smart," Priest said. "Try and find out."

“I, I’m,” he could do this, he’d dealt with assholes before. “I don’t have anything to say, I was wrong.”

"I know. That's probably all you're capable of. People like you ain't meant to do much talkin'," Priest said in a low voice.

What the hell did that mean?

“Yes, Mr. Priest.”

"And, my boss wanted somethin', so I think I need to get that too." Priest reached behind Todd, but he didn't see the knife until it had cut into his arm.

“Wha- hey!” 

The man held a little bottle under the heavy flow of blood and his other hand covered Todd's mouth with a tight grip. There was a glare in his eye, a crazy, murderous spark. Todd considered struggling, but he was tied to a chair and currently bleeding out.

Priest didn't seem to have done it for any purpose of his own. He took the bottle away and set it aside on the little folding table, and then turned back to Todd. Priest's hands were covered in blood, and he sighed, reaching forward to rub Todd's cheek with his thumb.

He knew very well that he was getting blood all over, and Priest seemed to be a little amused by Todd's expression. Todd tried to turn his head a bit, giving a small huff.

“Mr. Priest, can you-”

"No." More blood got on his face as Priest forced Todd's head back to look at him. "Do not ask me questions."

“But-”

Todd made an odd squeaking noise as Priest curled his fingers around his neck, cutting him off with his grip. Todd shook his head, or tried, he just needed to not talk, that seemed to be the solution.

"What's that?"

Todd just shook his head, hoping that got the message across that he would behave.

"Jesus, you're a fucking brat," Osmund whispered. "You best not think I'm gonna feed you today after this shitshow."

“Alright.” Todd managed to say, nodding his head.

Priest finally let go; he laughed at the coughing that came over Todd. He tried not to cough too hard, the pain flaring in his side.

"Jesus, you're a mess." Priest held todd's face once more as the coughing fit propelled him forward, not particularly hard; he wasn't being rough by any means.

“I’m sorry.” Todd said in between coughs. “Just, I’m sorry.” 

"I know."

Priest continued to watch him quietly, seemingly sizing him up as he smirked down at Todd. There was a little part of todd that wanted to ask what he was thinking, but he also knew that he really did not want to know whatever it was. So, he kept his eyes down and tried his best to look unassuming. Todd realized it wasn’t going to keep him away from getting hurt, but he also knew that it would help tremendously if he just played along.

Perhaps. He more hoped than anything else.

"I can't wait to mess up your pretty little face," he said softly, still holding the side of Todd's face.

“Please, I don’t understand. Why am I here?” Todd asked quietly. He was fairly certain the question was going ro get him hit, or worse, but he was too afraid and confused at that point.

"We need Svlad, and I need to make sure I ain't cleanin' a great big mess in the process. This way we can all have a little fun."

“But, why would taking me get you Dirk?” Todd frowned. Sure they were friends and sure Dirk would probably want to help him, but Todd wasn’t stupid, he knew Dirk would avoid Blackwing no matter what.

"It might take awhile, but he'll come," Priest said softly, running his fingers through todd's hair. "He'd do anythin' for his best friend eventually."

“I really don’t think he’d come back to the place that spent years torturing him.” Todd mumbled. He was going to die in here.

"Oh, you wait." Priest stood up with a sigh.

“Whe-where are you going?” Todd frowned, watching as Priest headed for the door. “Can you at least untie me?”

"Now why would I do that?" Priest paused at the door, glancing back at Todd with a smile.

“But-“ Todd tried to pull on the restraints. “Come on, where am I gonna go? It’s not like I can get out of this room.”

Priest just shrugged, pulling open the door. "Don't go worryin', I'll be back in an hour. I'm hungry, and I figure that's more than enough time for you're, situation to sink in. Don't pull, I won't clean up the blood."

Todd didn’t say anything as Priest left. Instead he just glanced around the room, or at least, as much as he could see from the chair. It was small, but no small than his college dorm had been, but the dorm had had a window, and a bed; this place just felt sad in comparison.

There was a deep rooted dread in his chest that was quickly worsening. 

He was taken by Blackwing, no one knew, and his friends probably wouldn’t realize until several hours from now. And who knows how he could be by then, the way Dirk had described Priest, Todd could very well be dead by the time Farah and Dirk even know to start looking.

Todd wasn’t holistic, but he was more than positive that he wasn’t going to be leaving this place alive. In fact, he was entirely sure he wouldn’t be leaving this place at all.


	2. Chapter 2

"Thank you for coming, Amanda, really," Dirk said, draping across his desk in utter boredom.

“Someone has to entertain you while my idiot brother nurses his hangover.” Amanda smirked, hopping up to sit on Todd’s desk across from Dirk. “So, what’s up?”

"Do you and Todd talk? Is that something you do now? I understand very much if it isn't, but if it is I would like to know." Dirk turned his head to watch Amanda, his sight partially blocked by a pile of papers.

“We talk occasionally.” Amanda said, shrugging. “But he texted me last night a picture of a collection of empty shot glasses. And then misspelled something about a guy. But other than that, it’s most check-in texts.”

"May I ask a question? It's a personal question, and an important one, but maybe not so important and if you don't know the answer you don't need to answer me. If you do, you also don't need to."

“Go for it.” Amanda said, smiling lightly.

Dirk had noticed she did this every time he started rambling. He had asked Farah about it and she said something to the effect of Amanda thought his rambling was endearing.

"Who does Todd, like? I like men, Farah has revealed she does not, but I don't know about Todd." It was a dangerous question, Dirk thought, but one he was dying to know the answer to. He thought Todd was a rather good looking person, but he clearly thought of him as annoying and overrated; he may not even like men.

Amanda pursed her lips as she gave a small sigh.

“That’s, complicated.” She said slowly. “Todd, spent a lot of time lying, about money, and his disease, but he also lied, mainly to our parents, about the people he was dating. He’s, bi, or pan, we’ve, never really talked about it, but he’s not out of the closet yet. Which, I get, he’s nearly thirty-five, but, he’s just never really felt comfortable with it. He hasn’t even technically told me, he just, when he gets drunk at bars, he starts sending texts along the lines of ‘he’s cute’ or ‘I’m going home with him’. So, sober Todd won’t mention anything, drunk Todd would probably try to jump your bones.”

"Oh, never me, he wouldn't feel that way about me," Dirk said, his voice a funny little squeak as he watched Amanda. "I have the weirdest thoughts sometimes. Thoughts which I have had often but never about someone I know, closely, which makes it awkward, because it's, well, I mean it's very something."

The grin on Amanda’s face could only be described as devilish. 

“Do you like Todd?” She asked.

Dirk gave a heavy, frustrated sigh and refused to look her in the eye. "Maybe."

“What’s the drunkest he’s ever been around you?” Amanda asked. “And I mean hard alcohol, not beer.”

"Well, he's never drunk very much at the office, and rarely when I'm around. But, there is a time neither of us bring up."

“Did he try to jump your bones?” She looked like she was about to start laughing.

"It's a bit blurry. I told you the story of that spell, when we were searching for you in Bergsberg, didn't I?" Dirk hadn't ever told anyone this part of the tale, but he had a feeling Farah remembered if nothing else.

“Yeah, Todd called it a love spell.” She said.

"I'm not sure what it was. But we were talking, you know, very happy and saying how much we were friends and all that. And then suddenly we, were very much not talking," Dirk said, trying to keep the blush out of his cheeks.

“As his sister, I need you to stop talking. As your friend, get some.” She smirked.

"We didn't- no, I haven't ever had the time," Dirk said, wholly unable to keep the redness in his face away this time. "But we were kissing, and we were going to- but I got, panicked, because I knew this was a spell, and how would Todd feel in the morning? So I locked myself in a cell with Bart and we played cards."

“From what Farah has said about the spell, it just removed inhibitions and made you happy. So, if I had to guess, Todd wasn’t doing anything he didn’t want to do.” Amanda said, giving Dirk a soft smile. “And if he’s not getting drunk around his best friend, then it’s probably him trying to not ruin what’s there.”

"It's just, I think I would like to, pursue something, but he knows too little about me. He cannot do anything with me without knowing."

“About the whole trans thing?”

"I meant to tell him, I did, but it never comes up!" Dirk covered his face with a groan. Todd simply couldn't have feelings for him, and if he did this would surely turn him away.

“Well, how about you just, take him aside when he comes in today. Ask him about Pride, casually mention the colors you’ll be wearing and see if he wants to come along. He’s an idiot, but he knows about this stuff. I know he does.”

"Oh, after the last time that may be awkward," Dirk said slowly.

“The last what?” Amanda frowned.

"Pride."

“You went to Pride together last year?”

"Just the parade. We were very bored." Dirk absolutely refused to look Amanda in the eyes now, and stared up at the ceiling. "And he asked me, you know, he asked if I'm gay and I realized I hadn't ever told him. And I lost my cool entirely and told him I didn't know, but perhaps I should find out, because I'm an idiot, and then I kissed him and then went to get us pretzels."

“Oh Dirk, you didn’t.” She sounded so amused, and so sad at the same time. “Dude, you probably broke his brain.”

"He looked, not stunned, but a little dizzy. Not in a bad way. Does that make sense?"

“You’re both idiots.” Amanda rolled her eyes. 

"And then- alright, there was one time- it's really my fault."

“You really can’t keep saying one time, you’re up to three, dude.”

"I told him I do not drink, I get drunk very easily, but I figured it wouldn't hurt because we were celebrating ending a case, and I woke up the next morning, and my head was, perhaps in his lap." Dirk sat up and tried to look anywhere, anywhere but Amanda.

“Do you remember anything from that night?” She asked, looking like she wanted to know the answer, but also didn’t.

"No. That's the most terrifying part," Dirk whispered. "But I kept my eyes closed a while after that. He was just playing with my hair and, it did feel very nice."

“Yeah, you’ve definitely had sex. Just, throwing that out there.” She smirked. “Todd does not like to be outdone, so if you got shit faced, he definitely did.”

"No, no, no we did not. We did not. I want to think we did not because I want to tell him things and Farah was there."

“Farah was where?” Farah had walked in with a couple coffees and some pastry bags.

"Farah, I am going to have a panic attack, have Todd and ever, you know…"

“Yeah, at New Years. You both were absolutely wasted and started getting way to close for my comfort so I left you two alone.” She said, smirking as she put her things down. “Oh, and that case a couple months ago. So, more than once.”

"But he can't remember. You- he can't, I can't-" Yes, Dirk was definitely going to have a panic attack.

“Dude, if he was as out of it as you say, he doesn’t remember either.” Amanda said softly. “He doesn’t remember ninety percent of the time he texts me shit like that, so, I mean, be a little concerned cause you both were wasted, but, if it happened more than once it’s probably consensual. Is that how that works?”

Farah just shrugged as she started in on the bagel she’d brought.

"I still haven't told him," Dirk said, to Farah this time. "Amanda thinks I should bring him to Pride and tell him that way but you remember how Pride went last year."

“Seriously? You haven’t told him yet?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “You told me like the third day after we opened the agency. How have you not told him yet?”

"I very much figured you would find out on background checks anyway," Dirk said, crossing his arms. Of course Farah had been planning on doing just that, she was very meticulous in that sort of way.

“Look, I’m not telling you how to do things, but, Todd’s your friend, he’s been your friend for almost two years, I think it’s probably safe to say he’d be fine with it.” Farah sighed, glancing around the office. “Where is he, anyway?”

"Hungover. He texted me at, maybe, sometimes last night," Dirk said with a raised hand, "That he was out somewhere. That's all he said though. He then texted Amanda about being very drunk."

“With a guy. Here, look.” Amanda pulled her phone out and held it over to Farah. There was a moment where Farah looked amused as she glanced at the screen, but her smile faded. She snatched the phone from Amanda’s hands, messing with what Dirk could only assume was a photo.

“Dirk, call Todd, now.” Farah said, looking up, fear in her eyes.

"I did, he didn't answer. Why?" Farah didn't often look fearful, so for Dirk to see this expression, it sent chills down his spine.

She turned Amanda’s phone around and it indeed was a photo, a little dark, and a little blurry, but it seemed to be a bar, with mirrors behind the shelves where there were a few bottles here and there. Dirk could see Todd’s face in the corner, but the one that Farah clearly wanted him to see was dead center.

Dirk was a naturally anxious person, so the feeling of tightness in his chest didn't surprise him. But there was also an awful spike of terrible and absolute dread that sat cold and hollow in his stomach as he stared.

Bad.

It was bad.

Wrong; it was it wrong, it was wrong.

Dirk snatched the phone from Farah's hand and promptly ran out of the office. The stairs took only a moment, or maybe he had just blacked outout for a moment because he was suddenly out the door, stumbling onto the sidewalk.

The Rowdy Three had been laughing at something as they sat in the van on the curb, but looked up as soon as Dirk appeared.

“Brit?” Martin asked. It made sense they were confused, Dirk had been with Amanda and now he was petrified. “What’s happenin’?”

"Wha-" Martin. Dirk turned to him, realizing he was probably in the middle of a breakdown and not caring in the least. "Martin. Martin. Martin, I need help, I need something, I need-"

“Ya’ need to breathe there, Brit.” Martin said, moving forward slowly, his hands raised a little, probably in an attempt to be calming. “Take a breath, tell us what happened.”

"They have him. They do, I know it, I can feel it, I can, he won't answer the phone look."

Dirk shoved the phone into Martin's hands. The others looked rather lost, clearly not used to seeing Dirk so horribly in hysterics. Martin frowned down at the phone for a moment, before it morphed into something close to hate.

“When?” He asked, looking up at Dirk.

"He sent it to Am- he sen- Amanda, last night."

“It’s gonna be okay.” Martin said, tossing the phone over his shoulder, Cross caught it and the others looked down at the screen as Martin moved a little closer to Dirk. “But you’re panickin’ there, Brit. Gotta cool down.”

"Fuck," Vogel said. He rarely said that particular word and in any other situation it would have gotten Dirk's attention. As it was now, he felt dizzy enough to pass out.

There were small tendrils of blue light starting to flow out of Dirk, the panic starting to fade. But the deep seated dread remained. This was childhood nightmares, and pain, and hours upon hours of begging for it all to stop.

For a moment, Martin reminded Dirk of a time when they were both much younger, and he had been afraid he was going to kill Dirk if he ate too much. But this was the present, not the past, and as soon as the lights disappeared Dirk stumbled for a moment. Martin caught him before he collapsed, helping him down to the sidewalk as Farah and Amanda hurried out the door to find them.

“It’s gonna be okay, Dirk.” Martin said quietly. “We’re gonna find him.”

"He's probably already killed him," Dirk mumbled, leaning against Martin so that he didn't fall over.

“Ya’ can’t think like that,” Martin said. “He needs us to believe he ain’t dead, ‘cause if he ain’t, we gotta get him.”

"Dead. Better to be dead."

“Martin?” Amanda asked as she walked closer, slowly and looking a bit like she was about to collapse herself. Farah must have told her what was going on because she looked like she was ready to cry. “He, he’s not-”

“We’re gonna find him.” Martin said again, holding onto Dirk like he hoped it would ground him.

Dirk had fallen completely silent, just as he had the last time Priest had tried to steal his life from him. It earned him some odd looks.

“Come on.” Martin said, looking back to the others. “Help me get ‘im back upstairs.”

Dirk didn't remember going up the stairs, just as he had forgotten going down them. What he knew was that at some point he had gone up, and was now sitting on the couch.

“-if he’s-” 

“We can’t think like that, Drummer.” Martin was speaking quietly to Amanda. Dirk could vaguely hear her crying, was it crying?

“But that’s him. Fuck, how did I not notice?” Amanda was most definitely crying. “If I had been paying attention we could have gone and gotten him last night. This wouldn’t- he wouldn’t- this is-”

“Don’t go sayin’ this is your fault.” Martin said softly. “That asshole could’a gotten any of us. He got Todd cause he was off by himself. This ain’t your fault.”

"Hate him," Dirk mumbled. "My fault. Got it wrong." Wasn't he always getting it wrong? "Wrong. Wrong."

“Cross, can ya’ go help Brit?” Martin asked.

Cross didn’t argue and Dirk felt the couch dip as he sat down beside him, a little but of blue helping to ease the pain, the certainty, of being wrong.

"It's wrong," he mumbled.

“It’s not.” Cross said quietly. “Can’t let the boogieman win, Brit, it ain’t wrong, and it ain’t your fault.”

Wasn't he always wrong, though? Dirk just nodded, saying nothing.

“So, what do we do?” Farah asked. Farah was asking that question? “I have some information on where Blackwing might be located, but nothing definitive. If he’s been gone for about ten hours, that could put them pretty much anywhere.”

“It was a desert.” Martin muttered. “Somewhere down south. I can probably find it if we get in the general area, but we gotta be close.”

“You want to break into Blackwing?” Amanda asked, looking between Martin and Farah. “Do you understand how hard it was to get you guys out the last time? We can’t just break in.”

“We won’t.” Martin said, looking at Farah. “Farah n’ I’ll go and find him, get him out and come back. Less of us the better.”

"He's not there," Dirk said. He didn't know where Todd was, but he knew that it wasn't Blackwing with certainty.

“He- okay.” Farah said slowly. “Where is he then?”

"Dunno."

“Okay.” Farah sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “Fine. Martin, come with me, everyone else, hang out here, we’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” Amanda asked, looking a bit panicked as she watched Martin follow after Farah without even an argument.

“To the bar. We’re going to do some old fashioned detective work and we’re going to find Todd.” She said, grabbing her gun and heading out the door.

Dirk stayed sitting down, and even if he wanted to make himself he wouldn't have been able to get up. The storm in his chest was one of madness and fear that even the Rowdies couldn't fix.

Even they would never understand.

No one would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol we have the whole thing finished i just gotta post it. We hunger for feedback.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn’t an hour, it wasn’t even two. Todd didn’t bother trying to figure out how many hours Priest was gone, instead he stared at the ceiling and wondered.

How long had it been since he took his last dose? How long until Dirk and Farah realize he’s in trouble? When would Priest cut his loses and just kill him?

These were the questions that Todd thought about as time stretched on in the small room. His hunger worsened, but he figured being hungry was good, at least he wasn’t dead.

“Knock Knock," Priest said, appearing in the doorway as he opened it. He was holding a water bottle and a small packet; what was inside was unknown. "You alive?"

“Last time I checked.” Todd said quietly, looking over at Priest. “How was, wherever you went?”

"Overpriced. I got ya' a little present." Priest threw the water bottle down on the table. "Some pictures. 1993."

“Dig them out of your scrapbook?” Todd asked, looking at the envelope. His hands were still tied to the chair, so he wasn’t positive on how he was supposed to look at them.

"Ken's orders, actually. That man is all kinda of crazy." Priest huffed, starting to open the envelope up. "Don't backtalk me, there, boy."

“Sorry.” Todd muttered, looking at the first couple photos that Priest laid out on the table. He frowned, not recognizing the children in them.

"Ah, look at that. Lamia and Svlad. I remember this," Priest said, a grin on his face as he laid put the last two. "Scott let 'em use a camera for their good behavior. Little Svlad just got outta the medical ward after I had a, talk with 'im 'bout his tests."

Todd frowned at the photo that Priest had indicated. That was Dirk? But, it didn’t really look like Dirk. Sure the eyes were the same and the hair was about the same length but the features looked soft, even for a little kid.

“Okay, so?” Todd asked, looking up. “Why show me?”

"How should I know, Ken said to show ya'. I guess ya' can keep this one."

Priest tapped the one closest to Todd. It was probably the happiest, but the smiles made the whole scene a little depressing at the same time. The girl who must have been Mona - she was very pale, and her hair was long and dark - had her arms wrapped around the other child in a hug. That child was clearly battered and bruised, but still smiling; it was the same smile Dirk had, but Todd was having a hard time believing Priest that it was him. It looked more like his sister or something like that.

“Thanks, I guess.” Todd said, still not totally understanding why he got to keep the photo, but he didn’t want to ask too many questions.

"I never understood that boy. I may, enjoy pain, but he honestly did think I would laugh at him for bein' a boy. You're datin' a funny one."

Being a boy? Todd stared at the photo, his mind slowly slotting the pieces together. It made sense, he supposed, he’d see the medical pouch but had just assumed it was some sort of medicine Dirk needed. And it was, in a way. 

God, how had he not known?

“Yeah.” Todd nodded slowly, before pausing. “Wait, what?”

"What's got yourself all twisted up now?" Priest shot a glare at him.

“I’m not dating Dirk.” Todd said, frowning. “Why do you think I am?”

"Y'all've slept together twice," Priest said simply, putting away all the photos but the one.

Well, that was news to Todd.

“Are you fucking with me?” Todd asked. “Because that’s just a weird thing to lie about.”

"New Years and, three months ago, I think it was. That's what we have on file."

“We didn’t-“ But Todd was having an issue recalling New Year’s. Had he gotten drunk? Shit, had he gotten drunk around Dirk? “We didn’t because he’s not interested. I know his type, I’m not it.”

"And what is his type?" Priest raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by Todd.

“Dude, I don’t know. All the guys he’s ever pointed out are taller and usually-” he was going to say blonde and then he realized that Priest fit that description and that didn’t sit well with Todd. “Much taller than me. So, no, I’m not his type. And he doesn’t even know, I’m, whatever it is.”

"Why do ya' think he kissed ya’ at Pride? Or that festival?" Priest took a step forward.

“He just, he wasn’t sure, and, we were under a spell.” Todd said, but his resolve was starting to crack. Dirk couldn’t like him, it couldn’t be a thing, Todd was an asshole. Todd would know if Dirk liked him, or if they’d have sex. They couldn’t have, right?

"Does it bother ya?" Priest was right in front of Todd's face. "I bet it does."

“Does what bother me?” Todd tried to lean back a little

"Knowin' he must despise ya', that's what's logical. But that boy ain't ever follow logic." The chair made it impossible to move, and Priest laughed at his attempts.

“He doesn’t despise me. We just, we’re not interested in each other. He doesn’t even know I like guys. No one does.” Todd muttered. “Can you just back up, a little?”

"Why?"

“Why, what?” Todd asked. He felt the chair tipping a little as he leaned away from Priest but he wasn’t overly concerned.

"Why should I?" Priest grabbed the chair just as it started to tip and slammed it back into place.

“I- I just-” Oh, this was too close. Todd was fine with this proximity last night when he was beyond drunk and trying to have a good time, but now Priest was a sociopath and far too close. “Please, just-”

"I've heard better beggin' from an eleven year old," Priest said. He gripped Todd's side, squeezing as hard as he could.

Todd screamed in pain, the sudden searing in his side enough to almost make him pass out, but that wasn’t the problem. The pain felt like his insides were being slowly eaten away by flames of pain. And then it was just real pain. He couldn’t manage to get any words out as he kept screaming, even after Priest had pulled back. 

The flames were burning him alive.

Priest laughed, and it was a horrible and blood curdling sound. He pulled back, watching Todd.

That was all he did.

Todd could only take a couple moments more before he passed out from the pain and lack of breathing properly. At least it didn’t hurt in unconsciousness.

He came to laying on his back on the cold floor. Todd was exhausted and his throat felt absolutely raw and all of his muscles felt like he’d just tried to run a marathon. Attacks were exhausting and he was so angry that he had had one in front of Priest.

"Don't try movin' or I'll take away the pillow," Priest said from somewhere in the room. "Not like ya' could, but still."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd mumbled, turning his head a little and finding Priest sitting backwards in the chair, watching him. “How long was I out?”

"Not tellin'."

“Alright.” Todd said quietly, carefully stretching his arms and legs but not making an attempt actually move. “Are you going to kill me?”

"Why would I do that? That ain't why you're here." Priest stood off the chair, looking over him and stalking over with a rope. "Blame Svlad."

“It’s not his fault.” Todd mumbled, unable to struggle as Priest grabbed onto his arm and started tying the rope around his wrist. “I’d say buy me a drink first, but you already did that.”

"You ain't lucky enough," Priest said with a snort. When Todd's wrists were tied, Priest took the remaining length of the rope and hauled Todd up, securing the rope to a little hood in the wall.

“Oh, it’s a treat to sleep with you? I’m supposed to feel bad I’m not lucky enough?” Todd asked as he was trying to figure out how much he could turn.

He didn't see Priest's foot, but he sure felt it when it connected with his stomach. He fell back, the rope yanking on his arms and nearly pulling them from his sockets.

"Well look at that, it's a little too high. Ya' can't sit down." Priest snorted again, turning backwards to grab his phone as it vibrated. "Ah, Ken."

“Who the hell is Ken?” Todd coughed, his arms over his head like some stereotypical medieval prisoner.

"None of your buisness." Priest typed something out real quick, and then pulled a little pocket knife out. "And since you're so ready to ask questions, I'll start markin' down how many ya' ask."

“What? No, no, Priest-”

"Two." Priest kneeled in front of Todd and dragged the blade across his collarbone in a short, deep line, and then did it again.

Todd screamed in pain, trying to get away but all he managed was to slam into the back wall. 

“Stop!” He shouted, praying he didn’t have another attack. 

"Don't fuckin' tell me what to do."

“I’m gonna have an attack, stop-”

"That's the point, jackass."

“Wha- what?” Priest was trying to trigger the attacks? “Why?”

"Two more," Priest said in a dry voice.

“Wait, just wa-” Todd’s words were cut off by the scream as Priest cut to more lines under the first two. “Please stop!”

"Dear god, I've met children with more endurance than you," Priest said with a scowl.

“I don’t care, just stop!” Todd could feel the blood running down his chest, starting to stick to his shirt.

Finally, Priest's phone started to ring and he groaned. "For fuck's sake, Ken."

Priest stood up, seemingly done with Todd. But he just grabbed the tie he has stolen from Dirk, his phone, and sat back down to talk to Ken while he pulled the tie over Todd's mouth.

"Ken- yes, yes, everythin' is fine. Why yes I did, and yes he's alive." 

Todd struggled, making a screeching sound as Priest tightened the tie around Todd’s head.

"It should arrive soon," Priest mused, a smile on his face. "Why yes, I am, thank you. Alright then, goodbye." He hug up the phone and glanced at Todd. "Somethin' to say?"

Todd had several things he wanted to say, but all would get him hit, so he just shook his head.

"Hm." Priest pulled the tie a little tighter. "Now, what the fuck was I do- oh, I remember."

Todd tried to struggle as Priest started cutting more lines into him. He hadn’t even asked a question how was this fair? But Priest seemed to be having a fairly nice time, so he went on.

Todd managed to get through exactly ten minutes. He had started crying a few minutes prior but Priest cut too close to the already irritated skin on Todd’s side and he cried out through the tie.

It felt like a thousand bees were stinging him, and he could feel them crawling along his skin. Two attacks in one day hadn’t happened to Todd for a while and he found himself quickly starting to lose consciousness.

"How rude," Priest said, grabbing Todd's face. "Am I gonna have to keep you awake? I'm goin' for three."

Three attacks? Why? What did Priest get out if it?

Todd shook his head, feeling the blinding pain as he was stung over and over and over again. He just wanted the pain to stop.

"Oh, here." Priest pulled back the tie for a moment to force something small into Todd's mouth. "Might keep ya' awake for a few days, though."

It took a minute but Todd felt the pill dissolve on his tongue and an odd sense of alertness started to move through his system. The pain of the nonexistent bees worsened and he resumed his screaming.

Priest just waited. 

He looked like he had been laughing when the bees started to disappear, and for all Todd knew about him he had been.

“Why three?” Todd asked, he didn’t even car if he got cut, he was already drenched in blood.

"Three is always a good number, unless ya' want more everyday-"

“Why are you triggering my attacks?” Todd asked, trying to find a position that wasn’t painful.

"Because I'm gonna break ya'."

“But why?” Todd asked, desperately trying to understand. He already felt pretty broken.

"Right, now, what did I say about questions." Priest gave an overdramatic sigh and pushed off the wall.

“A cut for each one.” Todd muttered, leaning his head back against the wall.

The third one started with the rope starting to move; Priest didn't even notice the attack, because he had looked up at the clock and gone to text someone. Todd didn’t even really notice until he felt something tightening around his throat, cutting off his ability to breathe. Normally it wouldn’t matter with these kinds of attacks, he’d take a pill and they’d stop, but he wasn’t getting a pill, and if he got to the point of full on choking he could hemorrhage his lungs and die.

“Priest.” He said as it started to become hard to breathe.

"Hm?"

“I can’t-” He gasped, no air actually making it in. “Rope, neck.”

"For fucks sake."

It turned out that Priest did have medication, he just hadn't been giving it to Todd. But he forced a pill down his throat, rolling his eyes and going back to his phone.

"Yeah, they should arrive right about now," he said.

Todd was taking slow pained breaths as the rope vanished, watching Priest. He must have been talking about the pictures he sent to Farah and Dirk.

“Priest.” Todd said quietly, resting his head against his arm.

"What?"

“Th-thanks, for the meds.” Todd said quietly. He was exhausted, but whatever Priest had given him would not let him rest.

"Don't worry, you'll go back eventually," Priest said softly, a hand on Todd's cheek. "And you'll tell them that I'll do this to every single one of Svlad's little friends the longer he stays away. But that's a real long time away."

“Can, can you just keep me?” Todd asked. He was an asshole, who had done shitty things throughout his life. But Dirk hadn’t, he didn’t deserve this.

"No."

Priest didn't hit him. He just ran his fingers quickly and gently through Todd’s hair, and then took his leave. He took the table with him, and the chair, and the only thing left was the picture from before, taped to the wall.

Todd stared at the photo, feeling his wounds slowly starting to close up and thought of all the things he didn’t know about Dirk Gently.

And despite what Priest said, he seriously doubted he’d get the chance to ask.


	4. Chapter 4

"Farah," Dirk shouted, standing at his window as everyone congregated in his living room, "Someone has put something in my mailbox!"

“It was probably the mailman.” Farah said as she wheeled in a white board.

She and Martin had found the bar the Todd had gone to and talked to the bartenders there. Thankfully, they had remembered the ‘southern gentleman and his ridiculous bar tab’.

Dirk rolled his eyes at her.

He ducked around everyone, stopping only to pick up his cat on the way out. Losing the shark-kitten had been rather devastating, so Dirk had gone and adopted a new kitten who was rather fond of him. He held her close, stepping out into the night air and taking a deep breath.

"Come along, Tabitha, we're going to get the mail."

She gave a quiet meow and curled against him as he walked.

There wasn’t a lot in his mailbox. A magazine, some bills, and something that looked like a letter that was marked urgent.

Dirk grabbed it and, after kissing Tabitha on the head he headed back up to his apartment. He opened it on the way, and inside was a plain black piece of paper.

YOUR FAULT was written in big black letters along with a small message that read I'll give him back one day. Dirk frowned, stopping in front of his door and turning the paper around to see the other side.

He said nothing for a moment.

Then a moment more.

Tabitha jumped out of his arms, pushed the door open, and the scream finally found its way out of Dirk's mouth. Farah was there in the next instance, her gun pulled looking around for the reason Dirk had screamed.

“Dirk? What-”

"Far- Farah, Todd-" Dirk had no idea how to finish the sentence. He was shaking like a leaf from head to toe, and he held the picture out to farah.

Todd was unconscious, he was covered in blood but Dirk couldn't tell why. The upper corner of the picture was drenched in dried, brown blood and it made Dirk feel sick. Farah stared at the photo, he face blank of emotion. 

“This, doesn’t mean he’s dead.” She said quietly. “He, he could just be hurt or-”

"I feel very much that Mr. Priest isn't kind enough to kill him. But, but his side is, open-"

“I see that. It’s, that’s usually where doctors cut for kidney removal and-”

Dirk turned and put the photo down on the table near his door. Then he went into the bathroom without a word, all the color drained from his face, and promptly became sick in the toilet.

Everyone left him alone for a moment, probably passing the photo around, asking what was wrong. This was all Dirk’s fault.

There was a soft tap at the door.

“Dirk?” Amanda’s voice was quiet. “Can I come in?”

"I've felt surgery before. I never imagined it would look like that," Dirk mumbled before getting stuck in a second cycle of dry heaving. 

He missed the opening of the door and felt a soft hand on his back. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Amanda said, and Dirk could hear her trying to convince herself. “Todd’s tough, I’m sure he’s, he’s fine.”

"It's all my fault."

“It’s not, Dirk. It isn’t your fault.” She said, still rubbing circles on his back. “You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

"He's after me. He wants me, Amanda." Amanda was probably one of his best friends, so she was one of the people he trusted to really touch him without asking.

“That doesn’t make it your fault.” She said, holding onto his hand. “Dirk, listen to me. We can find Todd, and get him back, and then, I don’t, Farah or Martin can deal with Priest. But it’s going to be okay. I have to believe it’s going to be okay.”

"What about his pararibulitis," Dirk whispered. "Amanda, I'm so sorry I brought this."

“It’s not your fault.” She said, pulling him in for a hug. “It’s not your fault, Dirk.”

Dirk stayed there for a few minutes, fearing the moment he would have to face reality. And they were finally interrupted, but not by farah.

"Boss?" For the life of him, Dirk had never before heard Vogel sound scared. Amanda sighed, turning to look at him.

“What’s up, Vogel?” She asked quietly, holding a hand out to him.

"I'm, I'm not scared. But if I was, is that okay?"

“It totally is, dude.” She said, catching his hand and pulling him into the bathroom. “Come on, join the ‘definitely not scared’ club.”

Vogel latched onto Amanda, and Dirk watched, momentarily stunned by watching Vogel.

"I didn't know you two were very close," Dirk said softly.

“We spent two whole months on the run together, shit happened.” She mumbled, holding Vogel closer and resting her head against his.

"You're friends?"

“Yeah, of course we are.” Amanda said, frowning slightly. “I love Vogel, I’d do anything for him.”

"The Rowdy Three were always more of scary figures growing up. It's just odd to see."

“They’re scary to assholes.” Amanda said, holding Dirk’s hand while she rubbed small circles on Vogel’s back.

"I wasn't one," Dirk said, a little saddened by that.

“Never said you were.” She said. “Blackwing fucked a lot of shit up, good relationships included.”

"Fair."

Vogel hugged Amanda a little tighter. Dirk stayed there a minute longer and then stood, whispering a thank you to Amanda and stepping out into the living room.

Everyone was rather quiet, the only sound coming from the television. 

Dirk sat down in between Farah and Martin; Farah was still holding the picture.

"I'm sorry," he said.

“Why are you sorry?” She asked, not looking up from the photo. Dirk had only seen Farah cry once or twice, and it was definitely looking like she was about to cry.

"You know why he's doing this, don't you? He's always loved being around me, and making me cry. He was my caretaker." This was clearly new information to everyone except Farah, as she was the only one who didn't move to look at him. "This is my fault."

“Dirk, I need you to listen very closely because I’m only going to say it once.” Farah said, her voice deathly quiet as she looked up at Dirk. “This is not your fault. Priest is a sociopath who kidnapped and murdered children for fun. Him taking Todd to get at you, or whatever, is not your fault. Do you understand me?”

Dirk nodded, fairly sure he was about to be hit.

“My best friend is kidnapped and hurt, I can’t handle my other best friend blaming himself for it, okay?” She said, her voice cracking. “This isn’t your fault, we’re going to find him.”

Dirk nodded once more. He turned away from Farah, giving her the privacy she needed to finally cry and instead looked at Martin.

"Hello."

“Hey, Dirk.” He said quietly, looking oddly awkward.

"Are you, going to stare at me, or do you want to talk, or something?"

“No.” Martin muttered, looking away. “It’s nothing, don’t matter.”

"Why not?"

“Because it don’t help us none. We gotta focus on findin’ your boy.”

"Nothing will help us right now, we have nothing to do," Dirk said softly. "Is it about Vogel? He's alright, he's over with Amanda."

“It ain’t about Vogel.” Martin said. He looked embarrassed. 

"Oh?"

“It’s nothing.” Martin said again.

“It’s his stupid family.” Farah muttered, earning looks from everyone in the room. “Oh, don’t act all surprised. You all know I’m neurotic, of course I have files on everyone.”

"The Rowdy Three aren't stupid," Dirk said stiffly. "Scary maybe. Is this about Mr. Priest?"

“Which one?” Farah snorted, looking a bit hysterical herself. “Osmund or Martin?”

"Don't be silly." Dirk rolled his eyes.

“She’s ain’t.” Martin said quietly. It seemed no one - except Farah - had known this. Cross and Gripps were frowning at him.

“You serious?” Cross asked.

“The wacko is your brother?” Gripps continued.

"Who cares?" Dirk crossed his arms. "As far as I am aware, Martin has never tried to break any of my bones, so he is not the same."

Martin pushed off the couch, muttering something about needing air and headed for the door. He disappeared, leaving everyone in stunned silence.

“I thought you knew.” Farah said quietly, looking at Cross and Gripps apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

"Martin is not the same as Mr. Priest. He is scary, and I hated him, but he is not the same. Priest, I saw him every day, and I know, I can tell they aren't alike," Dirk muttered.

“No one is saying they are, Brit.” Cross said quietly.

"That's something no one knew either, that he was my caretaker," Dirk said, standing up. "We're learning so many things today. Goodnight."

“Dirk.” Farah sighed as he walked away, heading for his bedroom. “Just, wait-”

Dirk closed his door softly behind him, and stood for a moment in the darkness. This was an absolutely horrible day, but it must be far worse for Todd.

He heard the others out in his living room for a few more minutes, deciding where they’d be sleeping tonight. The consensus seemed to be Dirk’s apartment but he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

He ended up in bed, still fully dressed and hoping for some kind of miracle.

But miracles rarely occurred in his life. At least, not to him


	5. Three Days After Capture

Todd was drifting in and out of consciousness, not entirely sure what was going on. But there was a routine to his days. He’d wake up, have an attack, get hurt, have another attack, get force fed some water, have one or two more attacks and then pass out with Priest stroking his hair telling him he was doing good. And Todd was inclined to agree, maybe he was doing good, he didn't know.

Today was no different. He’d had two attacks back to back and he was trying to exist in this dizzy unsure state of being.

Priest announced his return unceremoniously, a shuffling noise somewhere in the room. Something was set next to him and Todd was suddenly, finally lowered onto his ground, his hands still tired up but off of the hook.

“Please, please.” Todd managed to whimper out. “I’ll do better, my, my attacks, there’s more of them, and-”

"Quiet down," Priest said. Something wet touched Todd's hands, and he opened his eyes to see Priest had taken a washcloth to them, since they were dirty and covered in dried blood.

“What- what are you-” No questions. “The, washcloth, feels nice. Thank you.”

"Can't eat with dirty hands," Priest grumbled, finally pulling the washcloth aside.

Eat? Todd was going to get to eat? He had left hunger behind a couple days ago and now he was just in pain.

“Yes, Mr. Priest.”

"Crackers first, 'cause'a your stomach. Then you can have the salad, and the little chicken, and the milk. Clear?" Priest glanced up at him.

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said quietly, swallowing the pain in his throat. “Um, abo-about my stomach. It, it’s felt kinda warm the last day or so, and, I’m just worried-”

"I usually check up on ya' when ya're asleep. You ain't sick, but ya' need to eat." Priest pulled out a small water bottle, unscrewing the cap. "Can ya' hold it or are ya' shakin'?"

“I can’t feel my hands.” Todd said. Three days over his head would do that. And in fact his hands looked to be the wrong color, probably from lack of proper blood flow. “I’m sorry, Mr. Priest.”

"Well, ya' have been such a good boy. I could take the rope off and let ya' eat up in the basement," Priest said.

“I, suppose.” Todd didn’t understand what that meant but he nodded.

Priest pulled the knife out of his pocket. There was a brief moment where Todd was afraid Priest was going to cut into him again but that didn’t happen. Instead he cut the rope and freed Todd’s hands entirely.

"If you're good, I'll let ya' start sleepin' without them."

Todd nodded his head, feeling the awful pins and needles in his hands as his body tried to get blood flowing again.

Priest scooped up the bag, throwing the water bottle in. With his other hand he helped Todd up, who hadn't stood upright in a few days now. They had to go up a few stairs, and then a ladder, but they came into a rather comfortable looking, large basement.

The door up to the main house had been locked.

“This is a house.” Todd said slowly. “Like, a regular house.”

"Like I said, Ken didn't want to spend any of his own resources. Luckily I had a space."

Priest helped Todd down onto the large couch, which was more comfortable than anything he had felt in days, though he wasn't sure how long it had been. Then he set the bag down on the coffee table, pulling the food, the water, and the milk out.

“Thank you.” Todd said quietly. He clenched his fists a few times, trying to get enough feeling back in them.

"Now let's get somethin' straight," Priest said in a low voice, "Try anythin' and I'll chain ya' up like a dog so long you'll forget what the sun looks like."

“You had to help me to get here. I’m not gonna try anything.” Todd muttered, managing to hold the water bottle after a few more moments.

"Are you talkin' back to me?"

“No, Mr. Priest, just making an observation.” Todd said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

"Good. I ain't afraid to just muzzle you." Priest sat down next to Todd, catching the water bottle just as it slipped from Todd's hands.

“Can you help me?” Todd asked. He didn’t watch to ask but he was so thirsty.

Priest held the water bottle up for him, and he drank that until he was sure he could actually get the saltines down his throat. Eating was slow going, but it felt nice to finally have some food back in his system.

“What now?” Todd asked as they got to the end if the food.

"Well, I gotta make sure ya' don't throw up," Priest said. "You could stay up here for a little while. If you're good."

“Is sitting here slowly passing out considered good?” Todd asked.

"Well, now, it sounds like you're complaining," Priest said, his hand slowly taking a hold of a chunk of Todd's hair. He hadn't done anything yet, but it was a clear threat.

“I'm not, sorry, just trying to figure out what I can do.” Todd said, trying not to get too panicked. “I don’t want to do something I’m not supposed to.”

"How am I supposed to know who you're talkin' to if ya' don't say my name?"

“Sorry, Mr. Priest.” Seriously? He had to keep saying his name?

"Are you? Are you really?" Priest's hand tightened a little. 

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, feeling the pain in his scalp. He had gotten pretty use to what attacks felt like over the last few days, and he was pretty sure he was about to have one.

"I think you'd be useful with a lot more trainin'." Priest let go of him. "I might keep you yet."

Todd made a discontented sound as Priest let him go. The contact in his hair had started to feel good and Todd was starting to feel uncomfortably warm. 

"Oh, boy." Priest shook his head, reaching forward to brush Todd's cheek. 

Todd almost yelped at how nice it felt. He had had an attack like this before, it was just the misfiring of nerves, it wasn’t real, but it felt so good.

“Pl-please stop.” Todd tried, he didn’t want to somehow associate this particular attack with Priest.

"I think I could train you okay in a few weeks, but longer would produce such nice results." Priest put both of his hands on Todd's face to get a better look at him. 

Todd whimpered and reached forward, finding Priest’s shirt and pulled him closer. Maybe just a little contact couldn’t hurt. Priest fell forward, a little surprised, but it seemed to take only a few seconds after that to figure out what was going on and he laughed.

“‘S not funny.” Todd muttered, ignoring his self preservation urges and burying his face in Priest’s shoulder.

"It is, 'cause this is bound to get worse first. Poor little boy." Priest rubbed little circles on Todd's back.

Priest was right but Todd didn’t want to admit that, so instead he used what little strength the attack was giving him and shifted so he was practically laying ontop of Priest.

Priest rolled his eyes and went to go play with his hair, trying to hold back more laughter. Todd let his full weight lay against Priest’s chest as he felt a cry in his chest.

“Please help.” He said quietly. “Please.”

"And do what? You seem fine."

He wasn’t fine in the least. Everything was too much, but he couldn’t figure out how to say that, so he pulled back a little a looked down at Priest. He just wanted to feeling to stop. So he leaned down and rested his head against Priest’s neck.

“Do whatever you want.” Todd said quietly, shaking slightly. “Just make it stop.”

"I won't give you your medicine," Priest said dryly. "You're still not near as broken as you can be."

“I don-don’t mean the medicine.” Todd mumbled, feeling the attack worsen and making him shake.

"Lord, what does that feel like, you look so strange."

“It, it’s, not bad.” Todd mumbled, frowning at the way Priest had phrased it. “Just a lot. Can’t, focus.”

"Why?"

“It’s, messing with nerves, changing the input. But, but it’s not always painful.” Todd tried not to whine. “Can you just, help? Do something, anything, I’ll take anything at this point.”

"I could," Priest whispered, "But not today."

No. No Todd needed it stop.

“Priest, please-”

"Mr. Priest," Osmund said, his grip tightening on Todd's arm. Todd saw stars for a moment as he relaxed against Priest.

“Mr. Priest, please.” He was going to pass out, on top of Priest, while he was poorly propositioning him. He prayed no one ever found out about this, ever if something never came of it.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I might. Just not today," Priest whispered. "I've been told it's rude to lock people back up after having sex."

It was rude to lock people back up in general.

Todd silently cried as he laid against Priest’s chest, the attack slowly ebb away. This was absolutely terrible, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

"Bless your heart, you look so helpless," Priest said, kissing the top of his head.

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd mumbled, not even bothering to flinch as Priest kept stroking his hair and his back. He was oddly touchy for a sociopath.

"Imagine what I could do with proper time," Priest mused, "Oh, I'll call Ken after I put you back downstairs."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said. He could feel himself slipping away. The snappy, angry, closeted asshole was giving into the pain, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Now," Priest said, grabbing Todd's wrist, "I've been gifted a new knife set by my neighbors and I am dyin' to see how they work."

“Wa-wait.” Todd pulled on his wrist, knowing full well that Priest might just stab him. “Not, not there. Anywhere, not visible. Please.”

"I'm just pullin' ya' up, boy." Priest pushed Todd up, still holding him as he stood after him and stayed pulling him towards where they had come up from.

Right.

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said quietly, trying not to stumble. He was so tired.

"Sometimes I bring people downstairs," Priest hummed. "When I trust ya' enough I might show you how to slit someone's throat."

They wandered down the ladder, and then they had to start walking back to the room Todd had been in.

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, zoning out just a bit, daydreaming about being home, about regular food, about taking his medicine.

"I think I'm gonna keep you standin' for a day or two."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” That sounded truly awful.

Todd was forced out of his head by a sharp slap to the face, and he realized that they had arrived back to the room. Priest had grabbed a new rope, this time attaching it to a much higher hook.

“Sorry, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, letting Priest pull his arms well above his head, so much so he couldn’t really touch the floor.

"How’s that? Just touchin' the ground." Priest looked satisfied. "A day or two."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said quietly.

"You gotta tell me how you really feel. How else am I gonna beat those opinions out of ya'?"

“I, I’m, tired, I don’t feel well, and now my shoulders are starting to hurt.” Todd said avoiding eye contact. “But it’s fine, I guess.”

"Oh, I know you're tired. That's why you're here. You'll have to keep standin'."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd mumbled. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep like this. Who was he going to be in a couple days? Probably someone more malleable.

"Since you don't like it very much, I'll make sure it's two days, not one," Priest whispered, running his fingers again through Todd's hair. Todd didn’t even notice how he tipped into the contact until Priest smirked at him.

"You look a little strained."

“It’s just, a little high.” Todd said, there was a pain in his shoulders that he hated. “It’s fine.”

"It's supposed to be high. It's a little fun to watch you struggle with it."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, sighing quietly as he managed to balance on one foot.

"You still have a little room to go higher, you'd still be standin' a little bit." Priest was still far too close, watching Todd as he considered it.

“Up to you.” Todd said.

Priest snorted and reached up - he was much taller than Todd, maybe as tall as Martin - and adjusted the rope. Todd was no longer touching the ground and was simply hanging from the wall. This was ridiculous, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

Priest didn't seem to pay it any mind at first. He went ahead to play with his his knives, but once that was done, and it was over rather quickly, he undid the rope entirely.

"Hey." Priest caught Todd and rubbing his back, helping him to the floor.

Todd was gasping, he hadn’t even realized he needed the air until the moment. Had he not been breathing correctly? He vaguely remembered Farah explaining that people would die of suffocation during crucifixion because they were hung up, but he wasn’t sure.

"Don't worry, I wasn't actually gonna kill ya'," Priest whispered. He took the rope off of Todd's hands and laid him down on the pillow that had been brought in when Todd had had his first attack.

“Thank you.” Todd mumbled, finding Priest’s hand and holding onto it. He just wanted something not to hurt.

"I'll let you sleep," he said, "And when you wake up I can go back to doin' whatever it is I feel like."

“That’s fine.” Todd mumbled, closing his eyes and refusing to let go of Priests hand. He didn’t even really realize he was doing it until Priest tried to pry himself free with no luck.

"You're our property now, boy," Priest said, "I'll break down every last part of you."

Todd didn’t want to admit it, but he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t going to be very hard at all. He slipped into the darkness still holding to Priest and hoping for less pain.


	6. Chapter 6

They had gotten another picture.

Todd was curled up in a corner, fast asleep and battered and bruised, but he was alive and so Dirk didn't care. Dirk held it tightly in his hands as he walked to the office where everyone was, almost eager to show them this new proof that Todd wasn't dead.

When he got there, it seemed Farah had also received a similar photo, though hers was a little more concerning; Todd was strung up with a rope covered in blood and unconscious.

"Oh, that's funny, look." Dirk pointed to some numbers written on the back. "It's a date. Mine has one for the day after."

"Yours!?" Amanda was up at once, hurrying over, and Farah glanced up too.

“So he’s, mailing us photos? To, what? Show proof of life?” Farah frowned. “Why?”

Dirk knew why, it was to get him to come into Blackwing. But he ignored the question and held his photo out.

"Yours is more gruesome than mine," he said.

Farah sighed and took the photo from Dirk, looking at it carefully.

“He’s got different clothes.” Farah said quietly, glancing between the two photos.

"Still bloodied, but less so, clearly. Is that good, or bad?"

“With these injuries, and blood loss, Todd wouldn’t be able to change himself.” She said quietly. “So, either Priest forced him, or he’s too tired to care.”

"Oz knows how to keep someone without killin' them," Martin said from where he was sitting. "Most likely he took the clothes because they were dirty, and infections ain't pretty."

“So, he’s being violent and then cleans him up?” Farah asked, frowning. “I don’t like this.”

"He used to help me when I was in the medical ward," Dirk said softly. "It's not a new thing that he does."

“That’s, not what I don’t like about it, but sure.” She sighed, taking the photos and pinning them to the wall. “Todd is existing in a high stress, very painful environment where he is suffering physical and psychological exhaustion. And if these two photos are anything to go off of, Priest is taking care of him. That’s bad.”

"Yes, it is," Dirk said, not very sure why, but agreeing nonetheless. Amanda walked forward to examine the photos. 

“If this keeps up, we’re going to have a problem getting Todd to come with us.” Farah said quietly, looking over at Amanda. “Are you alright?”

"Why," Dirk asked.

"He's not tied up," Amanda said, tapping Dirk's photo. "That's why."

“If we don’t find him soon, he might not want to come with us.” Farah said quietly, looking over at Dirk. “People can develop unhealthy attachments to their captors, and if Priest is exploiting Todd’s pararibulitis it might not be that hard to do.”

"I understand," Dirk said. And he did, didn't he? He loved Riggins, even if he hated him and was scared of him, and he had complicated feelings for Priest that were almost paternal, if not also absolutely terrified.

“So, what do we know?” Farah asked, grabbing a dry erase marker and wandering over to the board.

"I know where he lived five years ago," Martin said.

“Good, we’ll check there first. We also know he’s probably local, as the letters aren’t coming through the real mail and they’re just in our mail boxes.” Farah said, writing down a few things and starting to form a list.

"I think I need to go shopping," Dirk said, looking towards the door.

“You, what?” Farah frowned. “Dirk, you just got here.”

"Shopping."

Dirk felt a terribly strong pull towards this idea, and whenever he had a hunch this strong he absolutely had to follow it. so he walked out, and Martin seemed to understand because he shook his head at Farah when she tried to follow.

Shopping wasn't very easy, because he was distracted the entire time. Dirk ended up in the supermarket farthest from their office, hovering in the candy aisle and just staring. 

“-absolute psychopath, but his methods are effective.” A voice said from the aisle over.

"Sir, we did warn you that he is-"

“I know. I’m aware, who do you think updated the files.” The first said. Dirk frowned, he was almost certain he knew that voice. “But he seems fairly confident with Brotzman, so I’m not too worried.”

"And I'm glad you did, sir!" The other man scrambled to agree. "I think allowing him these outlets and keeping track of them gives the victim a better chance of survival when one is needed."

“He’ll certainly be less harsh on Cjelli once we get him back if he’s got his new toy around.”

"May I ask," said the second man slowly. "Why don't we just grab Icarus? We could, and it would be easy."

Dirk froze, glancing up and down the aisle, there wasn’t anyone there, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t see them.

“Cjelli will come to us. You’ll see.” The first said.

"I just don't understand. All the other Directors have just taken them. He doesn't live very far-"

“And how many of the subjects are still in custody lieutenant?” 

"Well, none of them, sir. Technically, a few, if you count prison and mental hospitals." That was where Dirk knew the voice! It was the squirrelly man from Blackwing that had helped him find Moloch!

“I don’t. So, if I want different results, why would I do what my predecessors did?”

"You, you wouldn't," Assistent said slowly. Dirk picked up a bag of candy and slowly made his way to the end of the aisle, realizing the exit was past the aisle they were in.

“Very good, I wouldn’t.” And it seemed they had walked the same direction as Dirk. “We’re going to ensure that the subjects come willingly and it will be so incredibly easy.”

"So, why are we shopping?"

Dirk put in his headphones, turning it on and pretending he had had them in the whole time. Then he walked out of the aisle, his head bobbing to the tune that had started playing.

He glanced over and caught Assitent’s eye, the other man was turned away from him.

"Micheal?" Dirk took a headphone out. "Is that you? I didn't know you lived here."

The other man turned and Dirk realized why he had sounded so familiar. It was Ken, Bart’s friend, and he was smiling at him.

“Hello, Icarus, find the candy you were looking for?” He asked.

"You know, there is this particular brand of gummy worms. I have been to three stores and I still can't find them, so I'm going with these." Dirk held up his bag of gummy bears. "And, I don't go by that name, if you please."

“I don’t particularly care what you go by.” Ken said, smirking. “How are things?”

"I don't think I'm very interested in this conversation any longer." 

Michael tapped Ken' shoulder, muttering something to him.

“I know that.” Ken huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Just, watch," Michael mumbled, but Dirk didn't hear that part. Michael ran forward to catch him. "Hey, Dirk, listen, are you okay?"

“I’m fine.” Dirk said, looking down at where Michael was touching his arm. “Better if you weren’t holding onto me. But fine.”

"Oh, shit, yeah." Michael let go. "Listen, the last time we talked we were getting like, shot at, and just, did everything go okay?"

“Did I not get shot? No, I most certainly did, by your lovely Director no less.” Dirk smirked. “Though, I’m sure you know that, all high and mighty over at Blackwing.”

"Look Injust, feel bad maybe. I don't know. But, can't we just, like, all talk like normal people?" Michael looked over at Ken at that.

"I think he isn't interested," Dirk said. "I wouldn't mind, I don't want to go to the office right now, but he isn't."

“Well, I am. How about I get you a drink?” Michael said. “I’m on break anyway and could use some lunch.”

"I don't drink." But now Dirk felt a little guilty and a little trapped, so he clutched his candy bag and sighed. "Look, I will buy you both lunch if he uses my name for one conversation. Either of the names I chose, just not Icarus, and not my birth name."

“Deal.” Michael said, glancing back at Ken who rolled his eyes. “He’s in, he’s just stiff.”

"Well, come on, I've not got all day." 

Dirk wasn't hungry for his candy by the time he bought it. He took both men to a crowded restaurant, because amongst the noise no one would really hear them. Getting a table only took a moment, probably due to the universe, and Dirk sat down at the window.

“So, how have you been?” Michael asked, giving a small smile. “Find any aliens?”

"You know, I have. Twice. One we got abducted and once we went to another planet. But," Dirk looked out the window at the trees as they bent in the wind. "I think you both know exactly how I'm doing, and exactly why, so let's simply drop the subject."

“You’re impossible to have a conversation with.” Ken muttered.

"I wouldn't mind talking to you if you just used my name when I do, Ken."

“Fine, Dirk.” He huffed.

"You think it's very funny but it is really not. I chose this name, not because of trauma, but because I wanted to be seen as a man. Don't be rude." Dirk had indeed chosen his current name because of that, but also to escape trauma, but since he had never told anyone that no one needed to know.

“No one is laughing at you, Dirk.” Ken said, his voice even. “I just find it ridiculous that you act like a belligerent child whenever something doesn’t go your way.”

"Can we please have a conversation?" Dirk asked, but since he heard the right name in Ken's mouth he sighed. "Was there anything you wanted to talk about?"

“Not particularly. Not yet.” Ken smirked.

"Great. Well I do. What Mr. Priest is doing to Todd…" A shiver ran down Dirk's spine.

“Is a private matter you’ll have to take up with Priest. I didn’t sanction it, but, Priest is a contracted employee and as long as his personal business doesn’t affect mine, he can do as he pleases.” Ken said.

"I can't have him there. Please, I want to get him home."

“Again, take it up with Priest.” Ken said. “I didn’t hire him to catch your boyfriend, he did that on his own.”

"But I want to take it up with you." Dirk couldn't live with himself if Todd was stuck there, there was no way. "I, I'll come with you, if, if Todd can come home."

“I’ll discuss it with Priest, but I can’t make any promises.” Ken said.

Michael glared atKen, but he said nothing. Dirk leaned forward, a desperate look in his eyes.

"Please Ken, I can't have him there. I will, I promise."

“I don’t doubt your word, Dirk. But as I said, Priest collected Todd on his own time. I can request he let him go, but I can’t make him do anything.”

"Fine," Dirk said after a moment, still staring at Ken as the waitress came up.

They ordered the items to go so that they didn’t have to sit awkwardly an eat with each other, they just had to sit awkwardly and wait. Ken worked on his phone while Dirk told Michael a story of the alien abduction.

"-and then they finally beamed us back down," Dirk was saying to Michael.

“That’s incredible.” Michael said, his eyes wide with wonder.

"Do you want to see a picture? I took so many!" Dirk pulled out his phone, going to the alien folder on his gallery. "Here, look."

Michael snatched the phone, he looked like a kid at Christmas as he scrolled through the photos. 

“These are amazing.” He said quietly.

"I know!"

“You just, got abducted and-”

Ken cleared his throat as the food arrived already in boxes. He clearly looked like he was ready to go.

"Well, that was just the beginning of the case. I do love cases," Dirk said quietly. "You should both go, I think."

“Yeah.” Michael sighed, handing the phone back. “It was nice talking with you, Dirk.”

"Goodbye."

Ken pushed Michael out of the booth and they left, leaving Dirk sitting at the table alone. Ken had left his business card, clearly an invitation to stay in touch. Dirk was sure that he would be hearing from them soon in regards to Todd.

He had been planning to tell Farah, but in the end he decided not to. Instead he pocketed the card and left the restaurant with a hollow feeling in his stomach.

He hated the universe.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a couple days more. Priest had given Todd permission to roam between the tiny hidden room and the basement. Todd spent most of his time laying on the couch as his attacks had gotten so bad they were nearly once every hour. He went from one state of painful consciousness to the next, catching rest where he could.

The door at the top of the stairs opened and closed, and sure enough Priest called out.

"Sit up. I have somethin'."

Todd didn’t even argue, he just sat up, groaning as his muscles disagreed with the movement. What did Priest want now?

Priest wandered down with a small package in hand. He didn't sit down, but instead held it out to Todd.

"This is the expensive sorta stuff," Priest said, "Won't have attacks with this."

Todd stared at the box for a moment and then looked up at Priest.

“But, I thought you wanted me to have the attacks.” He wasn’t trying to be smart, he was just confused.

"And you've been so good for me. Besides, I'm takin' you upstairs today for a visitor. I need you on your best behavior, and no attacks." Priest shoved the package into Todd's lap. "Take 'em once a day, unless you wanna be locked downstairs again-"

“No, no, I- thank you.” Todd said, his hands shaking as he held the box. He’d been good and now the attacks were going to stop. “Thank you.”

"I got ya' new clothes, too," Priest said softly, holding out the other bag. "And some hair product. Did you know you can use the shower in the little bathroom over there?"

“I, assumed.” Todd said, glancing over at the door. “I, who am I meeting?”

"That's not for you to know yet. It's not your place."

“Sorry.” Todd said, looking back down at the box. No questions was like the first rule. Why was he so bad at this?

"Now, you go do all that," Priest said, running his fingers through Todd's hair. Todd tipped into the motion and for a moment he forgot what was going on. It just felt so nice.

But then Priest’s hand was gone and Todd was left with his small list of things to do. 

The shower helped make him feel a little better, as did the clothes and the hair product. He headed back out and sat down on the couch, not entirely sure what he was supposed to do next.

"Nope." Priest took Todd's hand, pulling him up. "I'm gonna bring you upstairs with me."

“Really?” Question, shit. “I mean, okay.”

Priest grinned, kissing the top of his head and gently leading him up the stairs. "Now, only talk when I tell you to, when he gets here. You're gonna be good for me, right?"

“Yeah.” Todd nodded. There was a small part of him that wondered what he would get if he did everything Priest told him to. “Whatever you say.”

Priest opened the door.

Every television was turned off and the remotes hidden, the blinds closed on the windows. But Todd was in a house, a real house.

"Go sit on the chair," Priest whispered as the doorbell rang.

“O-okay.” Todd let go of Priest and headed for the chair at the end of the couch. He could see a backdoor from where he sat and he couldn’t see Priest. He could leave, right now. He could run and find his friends and be okay.

But he didn’t move from the chair, and glanced towards the front door as he heard voices.

"Ken, Assistent, hello there. I brought him up for you."

“Priest.” A vaguely familiar voice said. “How coherent is he?”

"Todd! Come out here," Priest called.

Todd took one more look toward the back door before he stood and head out into the front hallway. Priest was standing there with a rather squirrely looking man and the man from Patrick Spring’s basement. Ken. Priest held out his arm, inviting Todd forward and Todd did as he was told, moving close enough for Priest to wrap his arm around him.

"See?" Priest looked over at Ken.

“Impressive.” Ken smirked. “So, I have a request for you. We spoke with Icarus. He’s willing to come in for the return of Mr. Brotzman.”

"See, but you won't let me be in charge of him, so that ain't sound real fun. Why would I give up this one?"

“I assumed that would be your general answer.” Ken sighed. “How long until you’re sure he’s ready?”

Todd frowned. Ready for what?

Priest shook his head at Todd.

"Not very long. Maybe a week. Look how well trained he is." Priest gave Todd a reassuring squeeze.

“Good, ensure that that’s the case. I’ll even give you two.” Ken said, a small smile on his face.

"We could talk about Icarus inside. Todd." Priest turned to Todd with a smile. "Bring these two to the kitchen."

“Alright.” Todd nodded, looking back at Ken and the other man. “It’s, just this way.” 

"Ah." Priest put a hand on Todd's back. "Alright who?"

“Sorry, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, feeling a little calmer for having said it. “Um, the kitchen is just this way.”

"I'll be right there," Priest said with a smile, letting go of Todd and closing the door. The shorter man followed close behind Todd, mumbling to Ken.

Todd had walked by the kitchen on his way to the door and he was more than able to show Ken and the man to the bar stools. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself at that point though. 

"You're uh, calm," the short man said to him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Shit, that was a question. Did it matter if he asked other people questions. “I’m fine.”

"Cool." The man nodded and turned to Ken. "So, we were both wrong about Priest, we both owe Angela twenty bucks."

“I thought he’d be incoherent.” Ken said quietly. Todd almost couldn’t hear him. “Have we checked Priest for holism?”

"No."

"I'm back. Good on you, darlin'," Priest said, patting Todd's shoulder. "How are ya' two?"

“We were just discussing Mr. Brotzman.” Ken said, gesturing to Todd and speaking like he couldn’t hear him. “It’s very impressive.”

"Well, I ain't ever been allowed the full freedom before to produce the results." Priest made a gesture to Todd, telling him to pay no mind to the conversation. "But it's only been a week."

“We know your brother tested positive for holism, as did your younger siblings before, the incident.” Ken said. “What about you, Osmund?”

"Oh well, that's why he hired me. Scott, I mean."

“And what exactly can you do?” Ken asked. Todd was even a bit interested, trying not to look at Priest.

"Oh, it's like a little feelin'. Tells me how to get to what I want to do, if I decide to use it."

“Another casualty psychic. Like Icarus.” Ken hummed. “Interesting.”

"Ah, Icarus. Scott ain't ever let me do what needed to be done with him. Todd." Priest looked over at Todd. "Get all of us water. You can have some."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd nodded, turning toward the cabinets. 

Thankfully they were fancy paned glass so he could see inside and found four glasses quickly. He filled them, leaving his by the sink while he walked the other three back to the others.

"Good boy," Priest said quietly to him. Todd felt a small smile on his face as he passed the waters out and then went back for his own. He stood next to the sink as the others continued talking.

“Once you feel he’s ready, we can lay the bait.” Ken was saying. “Icarus has already said he’s will if Todd returns. He’ll only need to leave for, a couple hours, max.”

"I don't know why you won't let me be in charge of that boy, Ken." Priest sighed, leaning back on his chair.

“Because I want him to be useful, Osmund.” Ken said. “He’s not normal and requires more, delicate methods.”

"I could make him do what you want, and we could track down more subjects."

“You couldn’t make him do what you wanted for ten years. How about you just focus on Todd, there?” Ken smirked.

"Scott wouldn't let me," Priest said coolly, "Said I wouldn't be able to do it to anyone."

“If we have problems, we know where to find you.” Ken said. “In the meantime, prove to me that your method works, and I’ll consider it.”

"I will. And, can I ask, what is your plan for him currently?"

“He’ll come in willingly, and we’ll use a subject we’ve recently acquired to increase his sensitivity to the universe.” Ken said.

"Hm." Priest nodded. The smallest man tapped Ken on the shoulder and mumbled something. "Well, I'll see y'all when the week is up, then."

“So it would seem.” Ken said, rising from his chair. 

Todd hurried forward and grabbed the empty glasses, taking them back to the sink and starting to wash them before Priest could tell him to. Priest laughed, and once the others were gone he walked over.

"How about I let you sleep in that spare bedroom in the basement tonight," he said quietly. "You've been perfect."

“Thank you, Mr. Priest.” Todd said quietly, feeling oddly lightheaded as Priest started running his fingers through Todd’s hair.

"I'm proud of you."

Proud. He was proud.

Todd nodded his head and moved in a little closer. He had had a few more of the unique attacks and had found himself hoping Priest would show up, but he never had.

"Come on. Downstairs," Priest said.

“Y-yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd felt, oddly sad as Priest pulled away, gesturing to the basement door. He walked a little slower than he could and found himself back on the couch before he knew it.

Priest sat next to him, his head on his shoulder.

And that was that.


	8. Two Weeks After Todd is captured

"Answer the door," Called Priest from upstairs as a knock sounded out. 

Todd looked up from the food he was packing away into the fridge and quickly closed the door, hurrying to the front of the house. The last time it had been Ken and his assistant person. Perhaps they had returned.

He pulled the door open and gave a small smile. 

"Hello." Ken pushed inside. He was followed by the assistant and two more agents. 

Priest walked down the stairs, leaning on the railing and smiling at the group. "Well hello. Sorry 'bout the mess, see, Todd bought food today and had to put it away."

“It’s my fault.” Todd nodded in agreement. “I’ll finish that up now if that’s-”

"You went out alone," questioned an agent, her voice pitched in confusion.

“Of course I did.” Todd said, frowning at her. “Don’t you?”

"I think that's enough talkin', Todd," Priest said, coming down the rest of the way and putting a hand on Todd's shoulder. "Boys and Girls, come in, come in."

“I’m here for Brotzman.” Ken said. “You said you could do it in a week. Is he ready?”

"Don't worry. I told him exactly what to do," Priest said, rubbing Todd's back.

“Dirk’ll be there by this evening, Director Addams.” Todd said quietly. “I guarantee it.”

Priest smiled, watching Ken carefully. Priest looked proud, and Ken looked a little surprised.

“We really should get your holism tested.” Ken said quietly.

"Or you could just keep payin' me and let me handle that boy…"

“Maybe. We’ll see how tonight goes.” Ken said, looking to Todd. “Go wait in the car.”

But Todd didn’t move. He honestly didn’t really care what Ken told him to do, that wasn’t the person he was interested in.

"You listen to Ken until you get back," Priest whispered. "You do this for me."

“Yes, Mr. Priest.” Todd turned and looked up at him, smiling softly.

He remembered two weeks ago, he remembered hati g Priest, but now it all felt so far away.

Todd was ushered into a car, driving away from Priest's house. The agents were talking, but not to Todd, and then quite suddenly Todd had been dropped off at a park not far from the office, alone except for an invisible wire to keep the others listening in.

"Farah, I just don't think that's how Snapchat works," said a very british voice.

Todd took a deep breath, he could do this, he just had to do what Priest told him to do. 

It had rained recently, so getting a little dirty wasn’t hard, he ditched one of his shoes and then waited near the path as he heard the two people getting closer.

“Dirk, I know how Snapchat works. I’m the one who showed you.”

Dirk was in front of Farah. He rounded the corner and came to a complete stop, staring at Todd as if he wasn't real.

Show time.

Todd stumbled a few steps before crashing to the ground, the pain was nothing in comparison to some of the things he’d gone through.

"Oh my god." Dirk dropped to the ground in front of him as Farah came up too, not seeing Todd at first.

“Dirk? What- oh my god.” She hurried forward. “Todd?”

“Help.” Todd cried, clinging to Dirk. “He, he let me go, I ran, I tried- I tried to get away- he let me go.”

Dirk lifted Todd up, which was a little impressive, helping him over to a bench. He stood there, examining Todd a little frantically.

“You’re here.” Todd was saying, touching Dirk’s face as he cried. “I thought I’d never see you again. He- he- I’m so sorry, Dirk.”

"Oh god," Dirk whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Todd sobbed, pulling as close to Dirk as he could. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.”

"I- I-" A torn expression that Farah couldn't see crossed Dirk's face.

“I should have never gone out.” Todd said quietly. “I just couldn’t tell you, I didn’t know how. He drugged me, took me to some cabin in the middle of nowhere.”

"He let you go."

Todd knew exactly why Dirk had the expression that he did.

“He said he didn’t need me anymore, that some new deal had come up.” Todd continued to sob. “Please, you can’t let him get me again.”

"He won't," Dirk whispered. "I- I have to, I'll go buy you some shoes."

“No, no,” Todd held tight to Dirk, but he stood anyway. “He’ll find me, you can’t let him find me.”

"I won't," he whispered. "I promise."

“Dirk, we have to get him back to the office.” Farah said, starting to inspect Todd’s wounds. It took everything he had not to just shove her away. “Help me-”

Dirk had slipped away though, leaving Todd and Farah alone. She muttered to herself and pulled her phone out. 

“Just, it’s okay, I’m gonna call Amanda, okay?”

Todd knew something like this would happen, so he shook his head, trying to look as panicked as possible.

“No, no, Farah, we can’t stay here. He’ll find us, he’ll get us.” He stood and started shuffling down the path. “We have to hide, we have to run, we-”

“Slow down their Brotzman, where’r ya runnin’ to?” A voice asked from behind.

Priest had told him to do one thing above all else; stay away from Martin. And now he was right behind him.

"Fuck," said a quiet voice in Todd's ear. "We're sending people in now."

“He’s gonna find me, he’s gonna- don’t touch me!” Todd yelped as Martin reached for him. “Don’t touch- get away from me!”

"What's that," Vogel asked innocently, pointing to the road that stretched out in front of them.

Todd rushed forward as the others looked toward the sound of the revving engines. There were agents on their way, on that road. If he could just get there, he’d be safe.

Vogel made a panicked noise, something close to a yell when he saw a car and immediately started to retreat.

“Blackwing!” Todd heard Martin shout. But Todd was too busy to care, that was the car he was racing towards.

Vigel was pulling at Amanda, trying to get her away. Farah looked stunned and the others looked confused but it didn't matter. Todd was already in the car, and it sped away as others took its place as a scare tactic.

“Stupid, fucking Martin.” Todd huffed, settling down in the seat.

"I have to give Priest credit," Ken said from the passenger seat. "I might take him up on his offer."

“Just take me home, please.” He said, buckling in as he relaxed in the seat. He needed a shower and to burned these clothes.

"Alright. I have something to do for now, anyway."

Todd had done it, and that was an odd feeling. But he knew Priest would be proud, so that was all that mattered, and he sighed in relief.

This was good.

Dirk shouldn't have been angry that Ken had kept the deal, he knew that. But as he penned the letter to Farah and slipped it where he knew she would find it, he was pissed. He grabbed his phone and the card, dialing the number with dread in his chest.

“Hello, Ken Addams.” Ken’s voice said on the other side.

"Ken?"

“Dirk, hello, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

God, Dirk hated him so much. He shifted his weight, his voice catching in his throat for a moment. "It appears we have found Todd."

“You have? Congratulations. Though I’m not too sure why-”

"So, I feel, perhaps, I should keep my own end of the deal."

“Oh I see, when you say found, you mean Priest let him go.” Ken hummed. “That is surprising. But nevertheless. She we pick you up? I have a car in the area.”

"I, I suppose." Something inside of Dirk was screaming for him not to do this, and yet he continued on.

“Excellent. Go wait down on the sidewalk, the driver will be there shortly.” Ken said, hanging up the phone.

Dirk huffed, looking down at his blank screen. Well, nearly blank screen. He had several missed calls from from Farah and Amanda.

That was odd.

Dirk sent them a quick text and put his phone down. it would stay there, because Dirk wasn't sure if he would be allowed to keep it or not. So he left it and stepped outside, the dread getting worse.

A black SUV pulled a couple moments later and the door opened on it’s own. He gave a deep sigh and stepped forward, hearing someone shout his name from down the street. He was seated in the car, the door closing all on it’s own again when he heard Amanda’s voice clear as day shouting about a trap.

"Wait, that was Amanda," Dirk said, standing up. But the car took off, sending him flying back into his seat. The feeling of dread was no longer possible danger, but imminent danger.

This was a mistake.

"Hello," Dirk called, trying to see who else was there because no one ever bothered to light up the back of these things. The windows were tinted and someone had installed a divider between the front and back seats. 

“Hello, Icarus. We’ll be arriving at Blackwing in about twelve hours.” A voice said over a speaker.

"Wh- you can't just leave me in here for twelve hours!"

But the person didn’t respond. Instead the air began to smell faintly of lavender.

"No, no, I'm sorry, don't do that." Dirk shook his head frantically. The smell only got stronger and Dirk began to feel incredibly drowsy.

"Please," Dirk whispered. He didn't want to lose consciousness, then he would be entirely helpless.

“We will arriving at Blackwing in twelve hours. Sleep well, Icarus.”

"No no no, please," Dirk said, trying to keep his eyes open.

But it didn’t matter how hard he tried. Dirk fell into unconsciousness and the only thing he could think of was that none of Todd’s injuries looked all that new.


	9. Chapter 9

Todd was back home within the hour and headed straight for the basement door with the full intention of cleaning himself up before continuing on his chores.

"Hey, no," Priest said softly, "We gotta leave, Todd."

“Leave?” Todd frowned, turning back to Priest as he walked over to meet Todd in the hallway. “Can I know why?”

"No questions," Priest said, leaning down to kiss Todd's forehead. "Safety reasons. You did piss off Martin somethin' good."

Todd felt the familiar calm that always seemed to cone with contact with Priest and nodded his head. “Yes, Mr. Priest. I'm sorry. I thought it was just Farah and Dirk. I didn’t think the others were that close.”

"It's okay. I'm proud. Get in the back car, okay? I gotta discuss some private matters with Ken."

“The back car.” Todd nodded, before frowning. “I can’t ride with you?”

"Todd." Priest's tone was a little stern.

“Sorry, Mr. Priest.” Todd said, looking down. “Back car. Got it.”

"Good boy."

Todd smiled and turned and headed back toward the front door. A second car had joined the car the Todd had ridden in, and he hopped in, grumbling mostly to himself about how unfair it was he couldn’t be with Priest.

Priest got in the first car and they all drove off, and that should have been the end of it.

It should have.

But as they got onto the main road, something rammed into the car Todd was in, forcing the vehicle to the side if the road. The first car kept going, but Todd didn't care.

He was more occupied with his car.

Tidd was fairly sure he was bleeding; his head was wet and his arm felt funny. He was laid back, blinking at the blurry world and at the world of red in the front seat.

He tried to move but all that did was send pain through his body. What had happened?

"-fucking dumbass, Martin."

“Ya’ said stop the car.” A voice got closer before the door beside Todd was pulled open.

"I am going to break your nose," said a new voice. That was Amanda for sure. "Is he okay? Oh my god."

“He’s breathin’.” Martin said, reaching in and u doing Todd’s seatbelt. 

“Get away from me.” Todd mumbled, but it came out a pained mess out sounds. He tried to move away from Martin, and whimpered from the strain.

"You could have killed him," said the first voice, "He needs a doctor. What the hell, Martin?"

“Trust me, he needed this.” Martin muttered, pulling Todd from the car. 

"You almost killed him! Look at him."

“Get away from me.” Todd mumbled a little louder this time. The pain felt like it was clearing his head almost. “Don’t touch me, get away!”

"Todd, listen to me, you're hurt. Don't move," Amanda said. "Cross! You're good at first aid shit! I need you!"

“Get away from me!” Todd started shouting, trying to move out of Martin’s arms with little effect. “Priest!”

Todd was placed in the van and someone swore.

"He got messed up," someone said.

"Totally."

"We'll help you!"

“Don’t touch me!” Todd was still shouting through tears. “Get away!”

A soft blanket was placed under Todd's head and someone started wiping the blood away. The more pain he was in, the clearer his thinking became. He had been with Priest. For two weeks. He had helped capture Dirk.

“Dirk.” His cries deepened. “No, no, what did I do?”

"Shh," someone said softly. "Todd, you're really hurt."

“They took him. It’s my fault, it’s my-” he tried to sit up and almost screamed. 

"Okay this is why we don't hit people."

“You told me to stop the car.“ Martin said from the front seat.

"Todd, just stay still," Amanda said, her hands hovering I've Todd in a panic. "We got you."

“I let him, I let, I had an attack, I let him-“ Todd couldn’t even bring himself to finish the sentence.

Everyone just kept taking care of him, not one of them saying a word.

“What’s he talking about? What kind of attack?“ He heard Farah ask Amanda.

"They're not always painful it's just, our nerves being weird. We just usually have hallucinations with them."

“Wait.” Farah said quietly. “It’s a, nerves getting the wrong signals kind of thing. Does that mean-”

"It depends."

“On what?” Farah’s voice was still hushed.

"Nothing. it just depends. It's random. Once I felt butterflies on me. But usually they're painful."

“Usually.“ Farah said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening.

"Cross," Amanda said finally, "If he okay?"

“It doesn’t look like anything is broken.” Cross said quietly.

"Really?"

“Surprisingly.” He said, leaning over Todd. “He’s cut up, but he’s clottin’ okay.”

"This is fucked," Amanda groaned. "Farah catch me."

“Amanda, don’t-” Farah groaned softly. “I’m going to let you go.”

Amanda mumbled something, curling closer to Farah. She was shaking, why was that?

“Todd, I need you to focus on me.“ Cross said quietly. “I’m going to take your pain, and it’s going to feel like you can sit up. But you can’t do that. OK?“

“I let them take him. This is all my fault.“ Todd said quietly, nodding up at cross. He understood. He was hurt, and probably shouldn’t even be alive.

A soft blue light filled the van as Todd’s pain faded away. He could think clearly for the first time in two weeks. Whatever priest had done, was so absolute that he hadn’t even questioned that.

Though, questions weren’t allowed.

"You can cry," someone whispered to him. "It's all good."

Todd nodded, trying to not cry too loudly.

This was by far the worst moment of his life.


	10. Chapter 10

Dirk awoke on a bed. It wasn't particularly uncomfortable, but not comfortable by a very large margin. Dirk groaned, keeping his eyes closed so he could pretend he was at home. Really, this could be worse. Priest could be here, right?

“Hiya, Icarus.” The intercom clicked on. Dirk moaned, forcing himself to wake up a little bit more. He opened his eyes, just barely.

"Mm?"

“Been sleepin’ all day?”

Dirk mumbled something incoherent, closin' his eyes again.

“Up, Icarus. Ain’t seen ya’ in ages. Get up!”

The sheer volume of the tone startled dirk, and he sat bolt upright in his bed more out of habit than anything else.

The door clicked opened and Dirk felt his heart start to race. There, standing in the door, was Osmund Priest.

"Mr- I-" Dirk remembered seeing - well, hearing - him last, at the Bergsberg house. Oh, what a terrifying day that was. Dirk gripped his sheets with wide eyes.

“Miss me?” Priest smirked.

Dirk shook his head slowly, not really believing what he was seeing. "What are you doing here?"

“Oh, well, see, I had someone else to entertain me, but it seems he’s been kidnapped.” Priest said, stalking forward. 

Did he mean Todd?

"Kid- kidnap-"

“Your idiot friends took him back. Killed the driver. You’re boy probably didn’t survive.”

"Okay just-"

“Be, quiet.” Priest growled. “You and I are finally going to get to know each other.”

Dirk yelped as Priest grabbed his wrist, going very still.

“Did Martin ever tell you about me?” Priest said, smiling darkly.

"No. Sort of. Well, really, he-"

“How about my persuasions?”

"Why are you here?" Dirk pulled his wrist away, watching Priest with a wary, frustrated look.

“To turn you into the perfect weapon. Just like the dirk you are.” Priest smirked, reaching forward and running his fingers through Dirk’s hair.

"Get out," Dirk said shortly, leaning away.

“No.” Priest said, continuing to pet Dirk’s hair. “I know it’s been nearly twenty years, but I’m sure you can remember how to act correctly.”

"Do not touch-"

The pain in Dirk’s face sent a shock through his spine. Priest was leering over him. 

“You don’t tell me what to do, Icarus.” 

"That's not my name." Dirk reached up to touch his face, a little shell shocked.

“Could’a fooled me.” Priest said. “Now, how do I like you to act?”

"I find when looking back that you were rather unpredictable, there is no one word," Dirk said softly. "Quiet, maybe."

“Not bad.” Priest said, still petting Dirk’s hair. “You and your boy are really very similar.” 

"He's not my boy." The motion was a little calming, it had been to him since he was a child, but he wasn't going to admit it.

“He’s definitely fond of you. Did you know that?” Priest asked.

"How is this relevant?"

“It’s not, but it’s entertaining to me.”

"Well, I'm done. It's a stupid conversation and has nothing to do with your entertainment." Dirk glared at the floor, still a little angry from earlier with Todd. 

“You sure?” Priest asked, rubbing his hand along Dirk’s neck. “I did spend two weeks with him. Two very physical weeks.”

"Stop." Dirk pulled back a little, a heavy, awful feeling in his chest. "I'm, just going to go to bed or something."

“Not even a little bit.” Priest said, grabbing onto Dirk’s shirt, pulling him him all the way up. 

Dirk groaned as he scrambled to his feet, trying not to freeze completely or just glare at him.

“You’re never getting out of here, Icarus.” Priest said, smiling at him. “Now, let me help you believe it.”

More calming feelings raced through Dirk, making him relax in Priests arms.

"I hate you. I won't let you hurt me again."

“I ain’t gonna hurt ya’, darlin’.”

"Then get, get the fuck away."

“Aw, come on now.” Priest said, but he did take a couple steps back, letting go of Dirk. “Ya’ ain’t gotta be like that, Dirk.”

"You are the worst, most violent- vi-" What did he just call him?

“Violent what, Dirk?”

"Person. Don't- don't, deny that."

“Oh, I most certainly am. Ain’t got no other way to be. Ya’ can thank Marty for that.”

"And?" That was something Dirk would have to file away for later.

“And nothin’. Marty stole my emotions, so I ain’t got nothin’ to tell me off one way or another.” Priest shrugged.

"And I'm not talking about your stupid brother!"

“Got somethin’ against Marty?” Priest asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I have something against you." Dirk sat down on his bed. "Leave."

“I ain’t leavin’ Dirk. Ain’t what I’m gettin’ paid for.” Priest said. “I’m here to handle ya’.”

"And what exactly is that then? Right now it's just you being annoying. I am an adult, I do not need someone to handle me."

“Oh, my bad, so ya’ ain’t gonna need food and water?”

"Oh what the absolute shit has Ken done now," Dirk groaned. "I don't even like you, Osmund."

“Never said ya’ had to like me there, Dirk.” Priest said. “Just here to take care of ya’.”

"And yet, you look annoyed."

“Just my face, pretty boy. ‘S what happens when a cowboy takes a scissor sword to the face.”

"Panto? Did he? What a gem." Dirk was absolutely floored and grateful, he really needed to thank him sometime. "I do like him. And don't call me that."

“Dirk or pretty boy?”

"Are you serious right now?"

“Deadly.”

"I think you're just being stupid."

“Brave enough to say that closer to my knife?” Priest asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dirk said nothing, because he didn't doubt for a moment that Priest actually had one.

“Thought so. So, you can either behave, or it can be painful for you.” Priest said.

"It will be either way," Dirk said quietly, "But, I'm sorry for raising my voice."

“Apology accepted.” Priest said, moving closer. “Now, here’s how the things are going to work now. I’m going to stay here with until, until you behave. Clear?”

"I, I suppose."

“Good.” Priest said, he had closed the distance, reaching out and petting Dirk’s hair again. Priest had always inflicted a horrible type of fear upon him, and right now was no different.

"I really don't want to be touched."

“You don’t have that option.” Priest said. “It can either be soft touchin’ or painful touchin’.”

"Alright, going to be honest, you phrased that a little-"

“I said what I meant.” Priest smiled.

There was a quiet knock at the door, some.poor scientist looking a bit frightened was standing there.

"Um, Mr. Priest, we need to give Icarus his physical. The Director said you can come-"

“Go on, I got some furniture to move.” Priest said, letting go of Dirk. “Go with them and behave.”

"I don't want to," Dirk said.

“Don’t care.” Priest said, leaning in closer. “Go with them or I will drag you with them.”

Dirk stood up and scrambled out the door.

Physicals never particularly hurt, and they were rather boring. He did pass Michael, and when he waved to him, the man scurried away looking a little frightened. Dirk frowned, looking down at his hands in confusion as they were walking back from the medical ward.

"Have I done something?"

“Not that I’m aware Mr. Cjelli.” The lab tech said quietly.

"He's not a bad fellow. a bit odd, but- Mr. Priest, what have you done to my room?"

The bed was gone, but there were blankets and a pillow, so that was good, hopefully. But there was also a cot along the wall where Priest was laying.

“Got rid of ya’ bed.” Priest said without looking over from the book he was reading. “Added my cot. Roomie.”

"You absolute-"

“I control the food you get fed.” Priest said.

"But you can't take away my bed!"

“I didn't, I paid some people to do it.”

"Mr-" Dirk yelped as the scientist closed the door. Only Priest had the key.

“Got somethin’ to say?” Priest asked, looking over at Dirk.

"Why would you do this," dirk asked in a soft voice. He wandered over to the messy pile of pillows and blankets and went to try and fix it.

“You don’t need the bed.” Priest said. “Blankets are more than enough.”

"I do need it." Dirk finished with the pillows nd tried to smooth out the blanket the best he could.

“Todd didn’t. Or did you not get the pictures I took?”

"I- hey." Priest had taken the blanket and pulled it away, messing up Dirk's attempts to fix it. "Please give me that."

“I need one.” Priest said.

"Mr. Priest-"

“We could share.”

"No. It's cold in here and my uniform is th-"

“As I said, sharing will make you less cold, Dirk.” Priest said, propping up on the cot. “Afraid ya’ might not mind it?”

Dirk was so frustrated at this point that he was sure he was going to cry. He hid his face in his knees, covering his head as a shiver ran down his spine. He was definitely going to cry.

The blanket draped over his shoulder, and Priest patted his shoulder.

"Why," Dirk asked.

“Because I don’t want ya’ to be too sad.”

"Of course you do." Dirk blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the tears. Priest sat down beside him and started rubbing Dirk’s back. 

“Deep breaths, Dirk.”

"No no, don't touch me," Dirk mumbled.

“Alright.” Priest said, taking his hand away.

"There' no point to this. Why are you doing it?"

“I’m tryin’ to help ya’.” Priest said. “Let me help, Dirk.”

"I'm not a weapon. I'm not like Bart, you can't control it," Dirk said in a whisper.

“Everything is controllable.” He said. “I didn’t think mine was, but I control it constantly.”

"I am not-"

“You’re fine, Dirk.” Priest said quietly. “Just relax. Let me help you.”

"How?"

Priest reached forward and rested his hand on the back of Dirk’s neck. The calm feeling raced down Dirk’s back. It didn’t really help him feel a lot better, but it did help calm him a little.

"I have nowhere to go." His friends would never take him back, not now, not after leaving.

“You’re home, Dirk.” Priest said, moving a little closer. “Don’t worry.”

"Don't say that name. You'll ruin that too." Dirk was absolutely lost, and like the child he used to be he curled against Priest.

“What should I call you then?” Priest asked.

"I don't care."

“Ya’ care a bit.” Priest said. “How about we stick with Svlad and we’ll figure it out later.”

"You don't care, please don't pretend. You'll hurt me the first chance you get."

“Ya’ ain’t know what I’m gonna do, Svlad.” Priest said quietly. “Just do as you’re told and you’ll be okay.”

Dirk didn't feel like it. They wanted him to believe in the things they wanted him to do, and he didn't, not by a long shot. He was just Dirk, and they wanted someone else.

"May I just take a nap or something?"

“Go right ahead.” Priest said, still sitting beside Dirk. “Rest, little one.”

"I'm an adult," Dirk mumbled, curling up under the blanket on the hard floor.

“Oh, I’m well aware.”

"What's that supposed to mean?"

“Nothin’ to worry ‘bout today.” Priest said. “Just get some rest, Svlad.”

Dirk still hated him, but he was too frustrated to care. So he closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep. Priest rested beside him, humming softly and gently running his fingers through Dirk’s hair, and Dirk couldn’t help but wonder if this is what he had done to Todd.

Maybe he would never know.

Dirk wasn't a very good liar, but he was very good at pretending and soon enough, the door opened.

"Well, that was a show," someone said.

“Only a bit of a show.” Priest said quietly. “He’ll trust me, you’ll see.”

"Do you always talk circles like that?"

“When I’m bored. When I wanna confuse people.” Priest said softly.

"I don't care what Dirk wants," said Ken, for that was who it was. "I don't need him. I need Svlad, and I need him to believe in us."

“He will, Ken. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

"I'll dmit, I was impressed with Todd. I just wonder if you can give us the same results with Icarus."

“Of course I can.” Priest huffed. “Why are ya’ so intent on doubtin’ me?”

"Because he is the person I need on my payroll. Who he is now won't do."

“Ya’ ain’t gotta worry ‘bout it.” Priest sighed.

"Well, do whatever you must. If you need anything, just ask."

“Some stuff added to his food. Ask the lab techs, they can tell ya’ the prescription I need.” 

There was a long pause.

"For what?"

“It’s helpful. What I was usin’ with Brotzman.” Priest said. “I’m good, but I need some help gettin’ him receptive.”

Ken laughed, and Dirk felt his heart stop for. moment.

"What were you giving him, besides torture?"

“Molly. Little bit of it. Makes ‘em happy.”

"Well, I'm a little scared of what you'll do with him." But Ken sounded amused.

“Exactly what ya’ want, Kenny-boy.”

"Do you want me to book a bed in the medical ward?" Ken snorted.

“Nope, ain’t gonna need one.” Priest said. “He ain’t gettin’ hurt.”

"You hit him earlier."

“Love tap, Ken. Surely your parents smacked ya’ ‘round a little.” 

"Just don't tap him unconscious. Or do. I prefer him that way. I'll be seeing you."

“Later, boss man.” Priest said, still idly petting Dirk’s hair.

None of that sounded good. But Dirk wasn't tired, so all he could do was keep pretending to sleep.

Not that it was worth it.


	11. Chapter 11

Waking up was harder than Todd had anticipated. He was laying in a bed, everything hurt, and he felt an odd ache in his chest. He missed Priest. Right? He was sure that was what it was, but he shouldn’t. Priest had kidnapped him and broken him, in more ways than one.

Todd tried to shut out those thoughts and instead focused on trying to move, which didn’t happen at all. He ended up right back against the pillow, buting his lip and trying not to scream in pain.

"Sorry I hit ya'," Someone said.

He opened his eyes and glanced over to find Martin sitting in the chair beside the bed. Todd was almost positive it was a motel room.

“Martin?” He asked quietly.

He couldn’t be near Martin. Priest had told him not to. But, that didn't matter. 

"Probably wasn't the, best way. But I was pissed, Dirk was gone, and it was fast."

“You, hit the car?” Todd asked slowly. It was Martin’s fault he was in pain. “Wh- wh- you, hit the car.”

"I shouldn't've," Martin repeated.

“You, just-” Todd huffed, taking a s slow breath and trying not to sink too far into his own head. “Why did you hit the car?”

"I told you."

“That doesn’t answer the question.” Todd winced, the accident had done something to his stitches in his side. 

"Amanda wanted the car stopped, so I stopped it. I ain't known you were inside."

“Who were you trying to hit?” No, that was a dumb question, Todd knew the answer. “Sorry, nevermind.”

"Mm."

“Can, can I know where we are?” Todd asked, looking around. It was definitely a motel room, it was bigger than the basement at ho- at, Priest’s house.

"Ask the boss," Martin said shortly. 

“Okay, can I talk to-”

"She's not here."

“Okay, then what can you tell me?” That tone was too harsh. “Sorry.”

"Nothin' you don't already know. You're hurt, Dirk's gone, that bastard is probably manipulating him." Martin huffed, a look of anger crossing his face.

“He’s not a bastard.” Todd muttered, feeling himself wanting to get sick at the thought. “Just, can you leave me alone if you’re not gonna talk to me?”

"He is. God knows what he's tellin' that boy," Martin said.

“He’s not.” This was the first time in nearly a week that Todd had been freely argumentative and it felt a little odd.

"Oh?"

“He, he, helped me.” Todd said quietly, hating how awful that made him feel. “You wouldn’t understand, Martin.”

"Clesrly, because he is out there right now tearin' down-"

“He wouldn’t be if you guys hadn’t hit the fucking car. He’d be with me!” Todd shouted, pausing for a moment when he realized what he’d done. He’d yelled, that wasn’t right. “I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

"We're tryin'a figure out what to do 'bout that," Martin said softly. He looked rather apologetic, which was odd for him. "We realize he would, but he would'a been talkin' to the you who tricked him. He would'a realized you'd done it."

“I was talking about Priest.” Todd said quietly. 

"I know," Martin said. "And I brought up Brit."

“This is all my fault. I don’t, I don’t understand what happened. I just, I remember being angry and then I just, wasn’t anymore, and he didn’t hurt me if I did what he said, I just, I don’t know what happened.” Todd said quietly, feeling tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. “I let him, we- I- I let-”

"I get it," Martin said, moving a little closer to the bed and pulling the chair with him. "He, fooled us all. Growin' up."

“Growing up?” Todd frowned, trying not to cry. He’d already cried so much.

"Yeah. He was my big brother."

“He-“ Was what? “You’re, last name is Priest?”

Todd could see some of the similarities; the height, the build, the face structure. But he wouldn’t have guessed it.

"I'll show ya' somethin' if ya' keep a secret."

“O-okay.” Todd nodded, a little worried. He’d never spoken with Martin for this long, ever. And now he was going to get personal. What was happening?

Martin held up a finger, standing up and grabbing his jacket from the couch. And he pulled something out, something small and burned on the edges that he handed to Todd. There were two little kids in the photo, climbing on top of what had to have been Martin, except he was dressed a little more professionally, and instead of baring his teeth he was just smiling. There was an older woman too, smiling next to someone who looked like-

“Mr. Priest.” Todd said quietly, before he had a chance to realize what he’d said.

"That's from when I came home for the holidays, from college."

“College?” Todd looked up. Martin didn’t strike him as the college type. He was definitely the type to live at a bar and own a motorcycle, not wear a suit and go to college. “You, went, what did you go for?”

"Astrophysics. Cross was in a little gifted program in his school, wanted to be a historian," Martin hummed. "Gripps left school to take care of his niece, and nephew. They're grown now."

“You, you’re a rocket scientist?” That, didn’t make sense. Maybe Todd was dreaming.

"I wasn't a real violent person. Ain't never drained someone all the way 'till Oz took us in," Martin said softly. "Vogel was real sweet. Files say his mom was a gardener, he liked flowers."

“But, what does that mean?” Todd frowned. “Drained all the way.”

"When we, drain normal people, it just kills them."

Oh god, why was Todd letting them do it to him?

"You and your sister, you ain't normal," Martin said, sitting down. "But, my siblings were, they were the only ones of all of us. And they were hurt, the fire Oz set hurt 'em, they were, just gonna die. Real slowly." There was an odd look on Martin's face, one that Todd had never seen on him that looked a little bit like horror. 

Todd reach over, ignoring the pain in his body and took Martin’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Martin.” Todd said quietly.

"It ain't your fault what happened. Oz ain't a good person."

“It is a little.” Todd said quietly. “I, could have run away, there, he brought me upstairs, and I thought about it, but, I just, couldn’t.”

"No, nope, it' mine." Martin shook his head and pulled back. "He used to be real sweet. Went to school to be a doctor. Why he's so good with the human body. But I got, real pissed. You know, if someone ain't scared or hurt we just end up takin' other things, and he ain't ever was the same since I fed on him that time."

“You, took his emotions?” Todd asked, feeling a twinge in his chest at every question. “Could, you take mine?”

"Not anymore. I'm in control now."

“But, if you wanted to, you could?” Todd asked quietly. “I don’t want to feel anything, Martin. Everything hurts, what I did, I let them take Dirk, I-”

"I won't ever do that again. Dirk needs you, boy," Martin said, sounding a little stern. "Ain't none of us good people anymore, but we gotta try."

“Sorry,” Todd said, feeling what little drive he had fade away as he looked away from Martin.

"You're all good."

“I don’t feel like I am.” Todd mumbled. “I did what he said. He, let me leave the house, on my own, and I just, went to the store and came back. I felt, fine with it. Why did I feel fine with it?”

"'Cause he's good at it," Martin whispered, moving from the bed to the chair. "And now I'm scared for Brit too, which is new."

“Why?” Todd frowned, looking up. “He’s not going to bother Dirk, he has-”

Todd was gone. Priest didn’t have anyone to mess with, except for Dirk.

“Martin, we, we have to do something.” Todd whispered, feeling himself starting to fall apart. “We have to find Dirk, we can’t let him- he can’t- Mr. P- Priest is gonna hurt him. We can’t-”

"He don't dare hurt him too badly there, not physically."

“He doesn’t have to.” Todd was crying again, feeling like he was spiraling down some miserable staircase. “He’s gonna hurt Dirk, this is all my fault, I did this, it’s my fault, my-”

"Breathe," Martin said, a look of horrible concern on his face. "What does that mean?"

“I was supposed to be there.” Todd was full out sobbing and he couldn’t make himself stop if he tried. “He was going to mess with me and leave Dirk alone. He told me to trick Dirk because he, he made a deal, with Ad- the, director. Me for him. Priest told me to pretend that I’d gotten out, that Priest had let me go, so Dirk would go with them. This is all my fault.”

"That boy is in trouble," Martin said softly.

“We have to get him back.” Todd said, still crying as he tried to push himself up, pain spiking all over. “We have to save him, we have to-”

"Todd." Martin shook his head, reaching out as if to stop him not not actually touching him. "You're hurt."

“I’m fine, I-” Todd twisted too much and yelped, falling back onto the pillows. “I have to fix it. I have to fix it, I have to get him back.”

"You can't go anywhere like this," Martin said, his voice oddly soft.

“I have to get him back, Martin.” Todd said quietly, two find some strength to sit back up. “I have to, he doesn’t know, I have to tell him, I have to-”

"Boss got us outta there," Martin said. He was frowning. "But she did that in that wacko place. Haven't been able to since."

“I have to be able to tell him, he doesn’t know.” Todd looked up at the ceiling, feeling utterly hopeless. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t help, Dirk was in danger, and it was all his fault.

"We'll get him out eventually."

“What if we can’t?” Todd asked quietly, looking over at Martin. “He’s not going to want to leave, not with Mr. P- M- Priest.”

“We gotta believe," Martin said. "That's all we can do."

Todd nodded and closed his eyes as the tears started up again. This wasn’t fair, two weeks ago he had been debating asking Dirk out for drinks and now he might never see him again. He let himself slip back into unconsciousness as the exhaustion and the sadness finally became too much.


	12. Chapter 12

Dirk woke up feeling that his room was draftier than he remembered it being in the past. He pulled his blanket closer, the hollow silence in the room making his head spin and his heart clench. He had thought just for a moment that he was home, but no, that wasn’t it. He wasn't that lucky, and the universe was strange that way.

Besides the silence, there was also a faint ache in his stomach. He sat up, glancing around the room.

He should eat something soon.

“Icarus, you’re awake.” Ken’s voice was close by, had he been watching him sleep? “I’ve been hoping to speak with you.”

"That's not my name," Dirk mumbled, rubbing his eyes to try and get rid of the sleepiness plaguing him.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry. Svlad, then.” Ken said. “We have a proposition for you, Svlad. Interested?”

"Joy. Is it breakfast," Dirk asked dryly, trying not to sound too harsh despite it all.

“It could include breakfast, yes.” Ken said, walking forward slowly. “The previous management wanted you to work for them, to be a tool, a weapon. That’s not what I’m looking for.”

Dirk had a feeling he was about to hear some utter bullshit come out of Ken's mouth, and so he leaned back, trying his best to look politely interested.

“I’m looking for someone to work with us, a partner. You would have full access of the facility, access to the databases, as well as the ability to go off base on missions. Interested?” 

"We both know I'm not," Dirk said, his voice soft, "I would just go home, Ken."

“See, I know you won’t, would you like to know why?” Ken asked, smiling softly.

"Enlighten me. Do you still put little trackers inside of us?"

“Better.” Ken said, flipping a tablet around to show Dirk. The screen was filled with what looked like vital signs, a heartbeat at a steady sixty-five beats per minute, some random notes on blood pressure as well as medical jargon. “Any idea what this is?”

"Something bad?" Dirk felt an odd twist in his stomach; anxiety. "I mean, in your defense you're fairly clever, so probably something bad."

“I don’t know about bad so much as interesting. See, while Todd was spending time with Osmund, I had him implant a small device that monitors vital signs. And, if I press this button,” he pointed at a red circle on the screen. “It will send a current of electricity right through his heart, killing him faster than you can say I’m sorry. So, you can either do as we say, or, we can see if the button works.”

Ah, there was the awful Blackwing Dirk knew and loved. He closed his eyes for a moment, sure that he would get sick if he had something in his stomach.

"I can't. I don't know how it works. And I hate Blackwing."

“Well, then I’ll just go ahead and-”

"What exactly do you all expect? That I'll flip a switch and suddenly be good at it? That I'll have all the answers? That I'll figure out how to be in touch like I was as a toddler before you all even knew me? Because that's gone. My mother knew how and she's gone. I am not some machine!"

“Not yet.” Ken said, tucking the tablet under his arm. “Priest will be training you.”

"You, get, the hell out of my-" Dirk jumped when he heard the door open, turning around and seeing Ken mouth something to the other person with an annoyed expression. Dirk groaned when he saw Priest.

Of course it was him.

“Svlad, that ain’t any way to talk to the director.” Priest said, walking in. He had a small cardboard box, and Dirk was almost sure he could smell food. “That bein’ said, somethin’ I can help ya’ with director?”

"No, no," Ken said, and then in a quieter voice he spoke directly to Priest, "I'm going to leave, I just want to hit him."

"What about my medication? I'm on hormones," Dirk said, trying to ignore Ken the best he could.

“You won’t be-”

“I’ve got your prescription all ordered up.” Priest said, cutting Ken off. “Ain’t gotta worry none about that.”

"They're necessity, not an option," Dirk said, throwing a glare at Ken. "Unless you want to have that conversation."

“He’s your handler, I suppose he’ll do as he likes.” Ken muttered, glaring at Priest. “It was nice talking with you Svlad. I hope you make the right decision.”

"Goodbye, I hate you."

Ken left, giving another glare to Priest and closed the door behind him. Priest rolled his eyes and held the box out to Dirk.

“Breakfast. What did he want?”

"Something stupid," Dirk said, sitting up straight and reaching for the box.

“Well, if anyone asks, tell ‘em I said ya’ could have your medicine.” Priest said, wandering over to his cot along the wall. 

Dirk pulled the box close to his body and opened it. It just looked like a really simple and not very big breakfast sandwich, but he was hungry, so he decided to eat it anyway.

“Sleep alright?” Priest asked, opening the book he had been reading as he laid back.

"No," Dirk deadpanned.

“Well, here’s to a better sleep tonight. I’ll tire ya’ out today.” Priest said. “Eat up, we’re headin’ to the gym once you’re done.”

"Why," Dirk whined, throwing his head back in frustration. "I hate moving around in his uniform."

“Ya’ ain’t gonna be in the uniform.”

"Oh?"

“Do ya’ work out in your regular clothes?” Priest smirked. “There’s exercise gear in the gym for ya’.”

"I've never worked out in my life and I don't plan to," Dirk snorted, finishing his sandwich. 

“Well, then the next two hours are gonna be real confusin’ for ya’.” Priest said, sitting up. “Let’s go.”

The next few hours were very much not fun. Dirk felt that perhaps it was because he had been rude, but they were there for more than just two hours, and it just made him all the more grumpy. It also made him exhausted. His body was aching but his mind was racing as always, so even if he wanted to sleep it would have been impossible. He didn't even have a bed to lay down on afterwards, he just collapsed into a corner his face red and flushed.

“Here.” Priest tossed him a water bottle which he didn’t manage to catch and it hit his stomach. It seemed Priest had showered before coming back and somehow didn’t look the least bit winded. “Water, then lunch, then lessons.”

"That just sounds dumb," Dirk said, taking the bottle and drinking at least half in one go.

“Don’t really care whether or not ya’ like it or not, Cjelli.” Priest said. “Ya’ got things to learn, and I ain’t gonna slow down for ya’.”

"I could just refuse."

“Ya’ could.” Priest snorted. “By all means, go right ahead. But just, real quick, ya’ hungry there, Svlad?”

"Yes, I am," Dirk said with a frown. "Clearly."

“See, here’s the thing, if ya’ don’t do as you’re told, ya’ don’t eat, got it?”

"Oh, you are an asshole," Dirk said before he could really think about it.

“Maybe. But I’m an asshole who’s goin’ to lunch. Bye-bye, Svlad.” Priest said, pushing up and heading for the door.

"Wait, no, what-"

The door closed and Dirk was locked in. 

He stared at it for a moment, realizing quite suddenly that Priest had meant that Dirk wasn't going to eat lunch. He gripped the water bottle tighter. He was hungry; all he had had was the sandwich and he had done all of that exercise, so of course he was hungry. 

But now he was alone.

He hated being alone.

Dirk waited in silence, and the minutes stretched to an hour and a half before Priest came back.

“Have ya’ had a chance to think about it?” Priest asked, waltzing into the room, a small on his face.

"Lessons would probably be best," Dirk said quietly.

“Good boy.” Priest said, running his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “Come on, gotta teach ya’ how field work functions.”

"Why- why aren't we staying in here?" Dirk wanted nothing to do that had both field work and Priest put together, because someone always died. He looked up at Priest with narrowed eyes, unsure of himself. 

“Because it’s a walkin’ tour. Now come on.” Priest said, still running his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “Wanna be a good boy, don’t ya’?”

"Debatably not," dirk said, standing up slowly. “Blackwing is an atrocious branch of an even worse government."

“That’s why I work in the private sector.” Priest smirked, heading for the door. “Come on.”

Dirk grumbled to himself, earning a glare from Priest as they walked out into the hallway. Priest got right beside him, practically looping his arm through Dirk’s. He was so touchy, it was odd, Dirk didn’t remember this from when he was younger at all.

“Usually we start with the weapons, but I ain’t trust ya’ with a gun just about as far as I can throw ya’. So, we ain’t doin’ the armory.” Priest said, leading Dirk down a series of halls.

"I'm not a baby."

“So ya’ can shoot a gun?” Priest asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not."

“Well, when ya’ can, then I’ll show ya’ the armory.” Priest said, reaching up and tousling Dirk’s hair. Dirk huffed, ducking out of the way as he was pulled down another hall.

“So, down this way is Kenny’s office, you’ll report there for briefings.” Priest said, gesturing down the hall. “There’s also some conference rooms here. Ya’ might need to know where those are.”

"Why?"

“‘Case ya’ get dragged into a meetin’. There are other agents ya’ know?” Priest smirked, pulling Dirk further along. “Here we’ve got the medical ward, as ya’ remember.”

"I'm not an agent."

The medical ward brought back a strong wave of so many memories that it made Dirk feel physically nauseous.

“Not yet.” Priest said, continuing down the hall. “Ya’ already know where the gym is and your room. The mess hall is that way, just follow the food smell. And down there is the garages, any questions?”

"Several-"

“Excellent, moving on.” Priest ushered him down a side hall and into a small room with a desk and some forms. “Ya’ need to fill these out to the best of your abilities and read those manuals.” 

"Wh- fill these out? I don't even know what these are!"

“Bureaucratic bullshit. Just fill ‘em out and read the manuals. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” Priest said, pushing Dirk toward the desk and heading back for the door.

"Hey-"

“What?” Priest turned, an odd look in his eye. It wasn’t anger, but more, hope, that Dirk would say something stupid. 

"I- I, well…" Dirk knew that look, and his mouth went a little dry in his anxiety.

“If ya’ manage it in two hours, I’ll take ya’ to the mess hall for dinner. Sound good?” Priest asked, moving back a little so he was closer to Dirk.

Dirk paused, watching him carefully. He wanted to eat, was it worth it?

"I suppose."

“Good answer.” Priest said, reaching forward and running his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “See ya’ in two hours.”

And then he was gone, leaving Dirk alone in the room.

The forms it seemed were some kind of employment forms, as well as a non-disclosure agreement. Because clearly people would believe him if he told them any of this. Meanwhile, the manuals were rather boring, mostly just procedures on proper working conditions and field scenarios. 

Dirk was starting to fall asleep when the door pushed back open and Priest appeared. Had it already been two hours?

“How’s the readin’ comin’?”

"Hm?"

“The readin’, how’s it comin’?” Priest asked, walking in and leaning against the table, looking at the pile of completed manuals.

"Fine, I suppose."

“Did ya’ get all done?” 

"I suppose."

“Now that ain’t an answer, Svlad.” Priest said, reaching forward and starting to massage Dirk’s neck. Normally he would pull away, but the workout had made him sore and the motion felt so nice. “Did ya’ finish or not?”

"Yes, I did. There's just this last manual…"

“So, no.” Priest said, glancing down at the one Dirk was currently reading. “Was it not enough time? Was that the problem?”

"I, I'm almost done," Dirk said slowly, looking up from the pages. "I am."

“Almost done ain’t done, Cjelli.” Priest said, his grip tightening a bit on Dirk’s neck. “Now, what should we do about that?”

Dirk squeaked a little bit, dropping the manual onto the table. He hadn't been doing anything wrong, so there was no need for this.

"Nothing."

“Now, we can’t do nothin’, ain’t how it works.” Priest smirked. “Though, I do suppose that’s your line now ain’t it?”

"Mr. Priest, please, I'm doing fairly well, I just need ten more minutes-"

“No.” Priest said, leaning down so he was right in Dirk’s face. “I said two hours. How long do ya’ think it’s been?”

"Listen-"

Priest shut him up, but not in anyway Dirk could have ever predicted. He had dragged Dirk forward and kissed him, silencing him immediately. Dirk's hand felt blindly along the surface of the table, and he didn't even have time to think through and decide on any stupid decisions before acting on it, he just took the pen and shoved it as hard as he could into Priest's arm.

Priest pulled back, shouting in pain, but he did release Dirk.

“What the hell, Cjelli?” He shouted, pulling the pen from his arm and not really seeming to care that his arm was now gushing blood.

"You- you-"

“Room, now! Before I shoot you!” Priest shouted, pointing toward the door.

"You are such a dick!"

Dirk stormed out of the room, more than aware of the fear and the guilt he was experiencing. He wasn't sure how to get back to his room, so he simply guessed, surprised when he got it right and slipped into the barren room.

He didn’t see Priest again that night, or most of the next day, in fact, no one came to check on him till nearly noon the following day. By then he was starving, trying not to pass out from hunger, when the door opened and Priest appeared.

“Come with me.” He said, gesturing out into the hall, a bandage on his arm.

Dirk couldn't help but be a little proud of the fact that he had done that to the monster that stalked his nightmares. But he was also terrified, so he stood up, trying to keep a distance from Priest as he slipped out the door.

Priest didn’t seem to care Dirk was trying to keep away from him and walked directly beside him, just as he had the day before. He led Dirk to the mess hall and told him to sit down before Priest wandered over and grabbed two boxes of food from a cook. He returned, handing Dirk a box before sitting opposite him.

Dirk stared at the table, holding his breath.

“Eat.” Priest said, already opening his box. “We’ve got gym time after this and then combat training.”

"Am I not in trouble?"

“You’re gonna be if ya’ don’t eat.” Priest said, looking up and glaring at Dirk.

"Is your arm alright?"

“My arm is fine.” Priest said, a small smirk on his face. “Ya’ ain’t that strong. We’ll fix that.”

"You just-"

“Dirk.” Priest said, his tone a little sterner than it had been. “I’m fine, eat your food.”

And Dirk, still terrified, ate it in silence.

Exercising was much harder, the food not yet digested, and he was more or less still running on empty.

Priest seemed to notice and made him take a break at what he could only assume was the halfway mark. He walked over with a water bottle, smirking down at Dirk as he sat on the floor trying to catch his breath.

“Ya’ weren’t kiddin’ about never doin’ this before.”

"I'm tired," Dirk said with a huff.

“Yeah, exercise’ll do that.” Priest said. “How did ya’ stay so fit? Ya’ don’t exactly look bad for someone who only eats pizza and milkshakes.”

"I, well, I end up in a lot of odd and life threatening situations. I run a lot."

“Yeah, I got that.” Priest said, glancing toward one of the treadmills. Dirk had gone with Farah once to the gym, though, it was more to talk to her than anything else, but he had meandered on one, talking her ear off while she ran five miles. “Come on, cool down.”

Priest dragged Dirk up to his feet before he had a chance to complain and pushed him toward the treadmills. 

“Set it to six and then work down in ten minute increments.” Priest said, hopping on the one beside him.

"But-"

“Do it and we can be done for the day, no combat training.” Priest said, setting his own machine to the same settings he had just told Dirk.

Dirk sighed. He really didn't want to fight Priest, so he turned his on to do as he was told. Dirk actually had quite the endurance when it came to running, even when he was tired, because he had done so on so many odd occasions, so he managed this no problem.

Priest even had to slow down sooner than Dirk, getting winded as he tried to keep up. It gave Dirk and odd sense of pride to be better than Priest at something.

Once Dirk had reached zero, he looked over at Priest who was smirking.

“Not bad Cjelli.” He said.

“I get in, odd, situations. I once got shot by two poison arrows and then Todd and I had to run through this forest-"

“Didn’t ask for a recap.” Priest said, handing over a water bottle. “Go shower, grab the clothes from locker twelve, and meet me at the mess hall in fifteen minutes.”

"Why?"

“Because I said so.” Priest said, heading towards the door. “Fourteen minutes.”

Shit.

Dirk ducked out of the room, hurrying to try and do what he needed to before he was out of time. As he left, he cringed away from Priest like he always did, earning an eye roll.

This was so stupid.

Dirk managed to shower in seven minutes and pulled the clothes out, frowning at them. They were very plain and dark, nothing like he would wear, and he was very sure they weren't the right size. But they were better than his uniform, so he put them on and tried to find his way to where Priest was supposed to be.

Priest was standing near the door to the mess hall, looking oddly normal in a dark button up and black slacks. He smirked at Dirk as he walked up and pulled the door open.

“I see the clothes fit.” He said as Dirk walked by.

"Um, yes?"

“Right size?”

"Well, no, it's a little tight."

“So, then it fits.” Priest said, pointing over to a table. “Go sit, I’ll get some food.”

"I'm not a dog, I don't have to be told," Dirk said, trying not to glare as he wandered over to the table; that was such an odd comment Priest had made.

Priest wandered over with two boxes and dropped one in front if Dirk, reaching forward and running his fingers through Dirk’s hair.

“I think we’ll focus on cardio exercises moving forward and slowly add in strength training.” Priest said as he sat down.

Dirk didn't answer, snatching his box and pulling it closer so he could eat.

“Got something to say?” Priest asked.

"I'm hungry."

“Congrats. Try again.”

"Wh- what else am I supposed to say?"

“Thank you. You raised in a barn there? Oh wait, I know for a fact ya’ weren’t.”

"Than- thank, you," Dirk said slowly. He blinked, a little surprised at the glare he was receiving.

“You’re welcome.” Priest said, turning his attention back to his own box.

Dirk found he wasn't very hungry anymore, the anxiety having made his stomach twist and turn, so he closed the box instead.

“Ain’t hungry?” Priest asked, taking a bite of the sandwich from his own box.

"No."

“Now why’s that, pretty boy?”

"I'm not- you-" Dirk felt strangely embarrassed, and he could feel his face starting to turn red.

“How ya’ doin’ there, champ? Look a little flustered.” Priest said, a odd smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

"I'm going to bed." Dirk stood up from his seat.

Priest was somehow faster and was incredibly close. He wasn’t much taller than Dirk, but it was enough.

“I have it on good authority that your type is blonde and tall. Now where’d ya’ get that?” Priest asked.

"I'm going to bed." Oh, now was certainly not the time to bring up very awkward teenage crushes. In fact, he had decided long ago to never bring it up at all.

Dirk tried to step around Priest but he was stopped by Priest’s hand on his neck and silenced by another kiss. And this time there was nothing to stab him with.

Dirk managed to get out of it after a few moments, and promptly walked out of the mess hall so he could find his room.

He was dizzy, and upset, and he just wanted this day to be over. 

The room was the same as always and he curled into the pile of blankets he had. Priest wasn’t far behind but didn’t say anything as he walked in and laid down on his cot.

God, the room was so cold. It had definitely become chillier than it had been earlier.

Dirk pulled his blanket closer. He was always aching lately, because the floor wasn't a very good place to recover from exercise. He heard a shuffling behind him and then the blanket felt like ti was being pulled away. He turned to complain but found Priest laying down beside him.

“Ken is tryin’ to get me to leave ya’ alone with the heat issue.” He muttered, pulling the blanket around both of them.

"Why?" It was much warmer like this, but Dirk let go of the blanket and it was pulled over to Priest without any warning. Now he was freezing.

Priest huffed and scooted closer, pulling Dirk back under the blanket and almost flush with his body. This was beyond too close for comfort.

“Because he needs my help but he don’t want me here.”

"Then go help him. Can you let go?"

“He needs my help with you.” Priest rolled his eyes, reaching up and resting his hand on the back of Dirk’s neck - there was always physical contact with Priest. “Just go to sleep.”

"I want to sleep alone."

“I think I’ve proven I don’t care.” Priest said. “Besides, I know ya’ don’t like the cold, all shiverin’. Ya’ ain’t shiverin’ now.”

"I'd, rather be cold," Dirk said, sitting up. He felt a little odd, and completely exhausted.

“Just lay down, Dirk.” Priest rolled his eyes. “Unless you wanna prove the rumor about your type.”

"Shut, up."

“Make me.”

Dirk groaned. He laid back down, covering his face with his arm.

“Better than solitary.” Priest said.

"Hm?"

“Oh, Ken’s been askin’ ‘bout what happened to my arm. Thought about tellin’ him, but then he’d throw ya’ in solitary for assaultin’ an agent.”

Dirk sat up once again. He had a bad feeling, a hunch that honestly made him want to punch a hole in the wall. 

"You absolutely did."

“Maybe.” Priest snorted. And as if on cue, the door opened and two uniformed guards moved in. “See ya’ in a couple days, Icarus.”

"No, no, listen-" Dirk yelped when both of the guards grabbed his arms. No, he hated that place. it was cold and lonely, and unlike when he was a child he didn't have Mona in the vents to keep him company and find him something actually substantial to eat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here when ya’ get out.” Priest called.

"Wait-"

The guards dragged him out of the room and down the corridor despite his strugglings. It seemed this was happening whether he liked it or not.

Maybe he wasn't in control of anything anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Dirk discovers something but himself, sleeps it off, and learns something else.

Dirk hated being alone.

His eyes had adjusted to the dark a long time ago, and so he had felt his way into a corner and placed himself there, not really planning on getting back up. It wasn't a big room anyway, so where would he go? He had wrapped his arms tightly around himself to try and fight the draft, and had long since fallen into a little trance out of boredom, hunger, and what was probably sadness. 

The routine of nothing was broken by blinding light as the door opened, a blurry figure standing in the doorway.

“How ya’ doin’ there, Svald?” Priest’s voice was oddly quiet as he stepped into the small room, taking up what was left of the space.

"No, that's bright," Dirk whined, his voice a bit raw from not talking the last few days.

“I know, I know. I brought ya’ these.” He reached forward, placing extremely dark glasses on Dirk’s face. “Come on, let’s get ya’ back to your room.”

The glasses calmed Dirk's nerves a little, and he allowed Priest to help him up. He was always a mess after solitude, he simply had a bad reaction to it. 

Priest led him down the halls and back to his room, helping him down onto the bed once they arrived. Dirk started to lay back when he frowned. There hadn’t been a bed earlier, where had it come from?

Oh no, he shouldn't be here. Was it the wrong wrong? He was going to get into trouble-

“Hey, what’s got ya’ all twisted?” Priest was there, stroking his hair. “Just lay back, I got ya’.”

"The wron- wrong-"

“What’s wrong?”

Dirk couldn't make himself form the right words. He knew he would be fine again in a little while, but right now he most certainly was not. Riggins always had to cancel tests if he was just coming back from solitary again. He covered his face and shook his head.

“Just lay back, let me help.” Priest said softly, kissing the top of Dirk’s head as he rubbed his hair and neck. “I’ve got ya’.”

Dirk nodded, still shaking ever so slightly. He laid back against the pillows and was a little surprised to find Priest laying down beside him, still petting at his hair.

Dirk found himself wishing it was Todd.

He curled closer, closing his eyes as tight as he could.

“I’m so sorry Ken put ya’ in solitary.” Priest said quietly, leaning down and kissing Dirk’s temple. “Ain’t fair, is it?”

"You aren't," Dirk whispered.

“I ain’t what?” Another kiss.

"Sorry. Can feel it."

“I am sorry, Dirk. I told him it wasn’t a big deal but he didn’t listen.” Priest said, rubbing at the base of Dirk’s skull and kissing his jaw bone.

"Feel it." Dirk really didn't care. People didn't like him, especially not Todd, and most of the relationships he had had in his life had been very one sided, one way or another.

“Well, I’m sorry ya’ feel that way.” Priest said as he moved closer. “Let me make it better.”

"Sleep. Can I sleep?"

“‘Course ya’ can.” Priest nodded. “Get some rest, I’ll be here.”

But Dirk couldn't fall under no matter how hard he tried or how much he wanted to. He just stayed there, curled up, until Priest seemed to believe he had fallen asleep.

The door opened, though Priest hadn't gotten out of bed.

"He really is ridiculous," Ken said.

“Well, maybe if ya’ hadn’t’a thrown him in solitary he’d be functional.” Priest sounded mad, on Dirk’s behalf.

"We have protocol for certain things. He'll be fine, he's being a baby about it."

“Well, if you’re so sure maybe we should lock you up for three days. See how ya’ like it, Kenny-boy.”

"Watch your tongue. I don't understand why this has been upsetting you."

“Because I told ya’ I had it handled, and ya’ went and locked him up anyway.” Priest said, his grip tightening on Dirk. 

"I have to follow my own protocol, and if he tries to hurt anyone else like that not in training I will do it again. He's not a child, he can handle it-"

“He’s in my care. And I’ll expect ya’ to listen to my suggestions.” Priest said, quietly and coldly. Dirk was familiar with the tone; he was going to punch Ken if he got too close.

"Alright, this, is not working." Ken sighed. "Why don't you explain to me why you think it's a bad idea, and I will listen."

“He’s never done well in isolation, it causes anxiety and in many cases regression. That’s detrimental to my skills and sets us back. He needs routine, not isolation.”

"Regression?"

“He shuts down, locks up the part of himself that’s useful and is essentially no better than a child. Why do ya’ think he’s all cuddly with me?”

"I didn't, think it was an issue he had. Where on earth did it even come from?" Ken no longer sounded hostile, just curious.

“I was out for a couple weeks on missions, came back to find he’d been left in solitary for eighteen days. He wasn’t functional at that point. He was about twelve.”

"Yes, because Scott was insane. And?"

“And every time he got thrown into solitary after that he shut down, retreated into himself, and takes a while to come back.” Priest huffed. “I’ll get him where ya’ need him to be, but ya’ need to back the fuck off.”

"I'm sorry," Ken said quietly. "I suppose that explains the, well, perhaps not overreacting. There is a lot of trauma that past subjects haven't been able to deal with."

“Shocking.” Priest said and Dirk could feel the eyeroll. “Are ya’ quite done? Or do ya’ need more of a debrief, boss?”

"Well, now I'm a bit interested in bringing Bart down to where Scott is living out his days. There are clearly things that were not put in the files."

“Ya’ have fun with your experiment.” Priest said, going back to stroking Dirk’s hair. “I’ve got work to do.”

"I'll be seeing you."

Dirk must have fallen asleep after that, because he woke up to a warmer room and curled closer to the pillows, trying to block out the rest of the world. He shifted slightly and realized he wasn’t in the clothes he had fallen asleep in, had Priest changed his clothes?

The bed dipped slightly and he felt a weight move beside him, opening his eyes a little showed him the form of a sleeping Osmund Priest.

"Mr. Priest?"

Priest shuffled a little but opened his eyes, watching Dirk carefully. 

“Mornin’.” He said, reaching out and brushing the hair from Dirk’s face. “How’d ya’ sleep?”

"Can, I have water," Dirk asked softly, a little frightened still of everything going on around him. It all felt far too overwhelming.

Priest didn’t say anything, just rolled over and grabbed a bottle, handing it off to Dirk with a smile. Dirk mumbled a quiet thanks, rolling the bottle in his hands.

“Still gone?” Priest asked quietly.

"What's that mean?"

“Maybe a bit.” Priest said, moving closer. “How’re ya’ feelin’?”

"I'm sad."

“Tell me why.”

"I don't want to be alone. It's really, it's, very scary in there," Dirk said slowly, a little frustrated as he tried to find the words. "It's small."

“It is. But it ain’t in here.” Priest said, rubbing Dirk’s neck. “You’re safe with me.”

"You're a bad person. You scare me, and you hurt Todd."

“Well, what can I do to make it better?” Priest asked, smiling softly. There was something about his face, Dirk couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it was relaxing.

"I don't know. I don't want to go back in that room."

“Ya’ don’t have to. I won’t let it happen.” Priest said, leaning forward and kissing Dirk’s forehead. “You’ve been so good for me, Svlad.”

"You used to get mad at Colonel Riggins about it," Dirk said, allowing Priest to be close for a moment. "Why? Are you mad at Ken?"

“‘Course I am. He didn’t listen to me. But you do, don’t ya’ Svlad. Ya’ know listening is good.”

Dirk nodded. "Why were you mad at Colonel Riggins? He said you tried to hit him, once, when I was-"

“Scott didn’t care about ya’, not like I do. He hurt ya’, just like Ken did. Ken shot ya’, he locked ya’ up. They aren’t good, like you are.”

"Yes but, you can't hit people. Why did you?"

“He left ya’ alone for too long, ya’ got all hurt.” Priest said, he had wrapped an arm around Dirk’s middle without him noticing. “That room ain’t meant for ya’, and I told him so. He didn’t listen. But you listen, don’t ya’ Svlad?”

"Yes." Dirk paused for a moment. "Hurt?" No, Dirk wasn't in any pain right now.

“Mentally. That shit ain’t good for ya’.” 

When had Priest gotten so close? Dirk was pressed completely against him, their noses nearly touching.

"My head doesn't hurt."

“Not this time.” Priest said. “Because I was there for ya’. Remember? I brought ya’ back to the room.”

"Yes. Last time I wouldn't get up for Riggins to come back, and you hit a guard with your stick, because you were mad."

“That’s right, you’re very good at this, Svlad.” Priest said, running his fingers through Dirk’s hair.

Dirk remembered the conversation with Ken that Priest had had, but he was having difficulty connecting it with anything Priest was saying now. He frowned, trying to think for a moment.

"Did I get better? When you get hurt it gets better."

“A little, but we’ll work on getting better, don’t go worryin’ about that.” Priest was somehow closer than before, breathing Dirk’s air. “Just relax, and let me help.”

"Oh! Farah says that, I think she knows I'm hurt. we got all, locked up, on a big case once," Dirk said, making a few vague hand gestures. "And she helped me do a thinking thing and I was okay."

“Yeah, like that.” Priest smirked.

"Yeah."

Dirk made Priest help him with it, and they sat for awhile, naming things in the room and talking about memories. Dirk eventually ended up curled in his chest, feeling phenomenally better but still not wanting to let go.

"When you say hurt," Dirk said after a long silence, "I recall Farah telling me about it now, very briefly. Shouldn't I have been told?"

“Told what?” Priest asked, absentmindedly play with Dirk’s hair as he held him in place.

"Well, she said to me that it had been very strange, I had been acting rather like a child."

“Still doesn’t answer my question.” Priest hummed.

"That, I was hurt. You say I was, and I really don't doubt that."

“It’s a mental problem, and intense trauma that triggers regression. What would you have done with that information?”

"Known about it." Dirk shrugged, moving a little closer. "You're warm."

“I can make you warm.” Priest said, a smile forming in his face like he’d laughed at his own joke.

"Well apparently that happened for the first time and I was too drunk to even know, so, I really don't care either way."

Priest looked down at him, an odd calculating expression on his face before he pulled Dirk in for a kiss.

"Was I just that transparent of a seventeen year old," Dirk asked after that had happened.

“Very much so, yes.” Priest said, carefully turning them until he was laying ontop of Dirk.

"It's not funny," Dirk said, spotting Priest's amusement and feeling the heat rise in his face.

“It is a little bit. So, what? Did you have a crush or something?” Priest asked leaning down and, not so much kissing as breathing along Dirk’s neck.

"No! It's, complicated. I saw you everyday, usually you were throwing me around, so it was a very awkward thing to have. If I did. Which I did not."

“I can lift ya’ up if ya’ want.” Priest grinned. “Walls make excellent support.”

"I just meant it was awkward because you existed in my world solely to hurt me." But Dirk had gone even redder and he refused to look Priest in the eye.

“So, wall it is.” Priest said, leaning back down to kiss Dirk.

"Don't you get the feeling this isn't very healthy?"

“I don’t feel anything.” Priest said.

"The idea, then."

“Not really.” Priest said, shifting slightly. The next thing Dirk knew he was up off the bed and being held against Priest.

Dirk knew it wasn't healthy, he wasn't stupid. He knew that Priest was in control of every aspect of his life at the moment, down to what he was wearing, but if he was being honest he just didn't care. He wanted to feel like someone actually gave a shit about him, so was he going to pass this up?

No.

And he probably would continue to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirk is lonely, honestly.


	14. When You Thought Your Life Couldn't Get Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda and Todd discover vital information about their pasts and themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back we aren't dead we just have beebeen writing so much we forgot to update other stories.

"Amanda, I can walk."

Todd was on the street with his sister, going with her to get some supplies and such. He could finally walk effectively, though he was still limping, and Amanda seemed to be overly concerned about it.

“You were kidnapped, tortured, and then in a car accident. I’m allowed to hover.” She said, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe. But I can still walk fine, you have to at least admit it."

“You’re limping at two miles an hour. That’s not fine, dude.” She said.

"I'm gonna limp no matter the speed, sis." 

“I’m just saying, you could have stayed at the motel, I wouldn’t have blamed you for not being able to come.” She said, reaching forward slowly, giving Todd plenty of time to see her before she looped her arm with his.

Everyone had become very accommodating for what they were calling ‘Todd's trauma’ ever since the anger at him had faded. Todd wasn't sure if he wanted to call it trauma, but if he was being honest, it probably was.

Intense torture tended to have that effect.

"I need to do something. I'm just having a panic attack sitting there and thinking about Dirk."

“And your other attacks?” She asked quietly.

"I mean, your boys are in the same room as both of us, they're getting fed, man. A whole buffet."

“Yeah.” She mumbled. “Look, about, what you said, in the van, you know, when we nearly killed you. I just, I know what you’re talking about, and, I’m sorry it happened around, him.”

"Yeah he's weird. And really touchy. He needs to get laid, but not by me." Todd stuck out his tongue in disgust.

“But, you know, if that did happen, I don’t blame you, or whatever. It’s not your fault.”

"Amanda." Todd turned backwards, still walking. "It didn't hap-"

It had been a bad idea to do that.

Todd managed to smack right into some poor stranger, sending them both onto the sidewalk. The pain in Todd's leg and side flared, and he took a sharp breath in.

“Todd! Shit! Are you ok-” Amanda’s voice cut off, looking just past Todd as she grabbed onto his hands.

"Amanda, shit!" She tried to pull him along and his leg flared again. "No. Nope. Not working. Leg."

“Just get behind me.” She said, pulling a wand out from underneath her jacket. Was that the wand from Wendimoor? How the hell had she gotten that?

"Is that Suzie's-" Todd grabbed his side with a groan, lowering himself to sit on the curb. "Christ. Nevermind."

“What the hell are you doing here?” Amanda said.

For a moment Todd thought she was talking to him, but she was still looking in the direction they had been walking.

"Amanda please, I really need some help," he whispered. She flicked the wand, the crystals glowing blue and the pain in Todd’s side and leg was gone.

Todd finally looked in the direction she was pointing, a little tired now.

"Are you threatening senior citizens, Amanda," he asked.

“Todd, shut up.” She hissed, glaring at the man as he stood, it must have been the man todd had run into. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

"Who is he!?"

“He’s the guy.” She said, pointing the wand at the man who looked slightly annoyed by the whole thing. “He was there when that idiot held a gun to my head.”

"Yeah, that sounds like your normal life." Todd swiped the wand in her hand and looked up at the man. "Look, I'm sorry man. Are you okay?"

“I’m quite alright, Mr. Brotzman, though, I’ve heard you’ve been through the ringer. Tell me, is Priest still carving tallies?”

Todd just sighed and handed the wand back to Amanda. She took up her stance again, looking like a Harry Potter cosplayer wanna-be and glaring the man down. 

“You have exactly ten seconds before I turn you into something small and squishable. What are you doing here?”

“I live here, Ms. Brotzman.” The man sighed, dusting himself off. “If anything, you’re the intrusion.”

“Oh I’ll give you an-”

"He sounds as annoying as-" Todd's eyes widened. He grabbed Amanda's jacket and pulled himself up, knowing that even without pain he probably shouldn't be doing much to his leg. "Fucking Riggins, that asshole, you remember? The guy who deleted half of Dirk's files, the one he hates."

“That’s what I said.” She huffed. “Can I magic him now?”

"No, I still need those files. It's medical stuff. Do you know how many got deleted for Dirk and Vogel and Cross and-"

“Detaining me won’t get you those files. They’re gone. Thus the word ‘deleted’.” Riggins said.

"Well we need to take care of these people, so find a physical copy or I'll just hit you now because honestly-"

“No, dude.” Amanda said quietly. “You, really shouldn’t do that. Like, you might feel okay, but you should probably sit back down.”

"Fine. I'll call Farah," Todd mumbled. "But it was like the nineties, man, there are physical copies."

“I don’t have them. And even if I did, I wouldn’t give them to you-“

Amanda flicked her wrist and the wand glowed and then Riggins was gone, a small hamster sitting in stunned stillness on the sidewalk.

"Okay, I don't know how you got that wand but it is cool, and super scary. Wanna go rob his house?"

“Yes. But, we should, probably like, take the hamster.” She said.

"I mean, he like abused Dirk, we could leave him." Todd gave a dismissive wave. He didn't care about Riggins very much, if he was being honest. "But yeah, pick him up."

Todd's limp was far more severe as he went up the driveway, texting Farah a short summary of their newest adventure and where to find them. The house looked nice and we kept, but the inside was different.

He was clearly starting to become unable to sustain himself in his old age.

Todd was surprised on how quickly he found what he needed. The files were all organized very neatly, and a pile labeled Project Icarus was on the desk. Todd pulled open one of the files, but he was feeling a little dizzy, so he asked Amanda to read it instead. 

She had set the hamster down somewhere and took the file, frowning as she flipped through it.

“Huh.” She huffed slightly, grabbing Vogel’s file and flipping it open, clearly looking for something.

"What? I asked what it says-"

“It, I mean, it’s a lot of medical stuff, but this says that holism is genetic and can be linked through heredity.”

"Martin said we aren't- do, you think, mom and dad…"

“I’ve read three pages, give me a second.” She said, starting to shuffle through the files. Her eyes narrowed as she grabbed a file from the back. 

“What’s Operation Gemini?”

"Why would I know that?"

“Because, I don’t know, shut up.” She rolled her eyes. “Dirk and Vogel both had a notation of it in their files. Just, give me a second.”

Tods held up his hands in defeat, spinning around in the rotating chair to occupy himself. After a couple spins there he noticed the odd look on Amanda’s face as she read the file. It was something between horror and confusion.

"Amanda, hey." Todd reached out for her, falling short when he felt a pang of anxiety at the idea of the contact. "What's up?"

“‘Operation Gemini aims to determine whether or not anomalous abilities are capable of being shared between similar subjects. People who are prone to psychic or metaphysical phenomena have been selected and the participants will be award forty thousand dollars for each successful insemination carried to term.’”

"Um, ew," Todd said, pulling away.

“‘For subjects Icarus and Incubus, we have selected hosts with the affliction of pararibulitis to act as a catalyst for the gene.’”

"Okay so, maybe we should call mom," Todd said slowly. God, he didn't want to think of those implications.

Jesus christ, Blackwing was weird.

“‘Gemini1980 has shown no signs of either the disease nor the anomalous ability coded into his DNA. Whereas Gemini1993 has shown a proclivity for extra sensory awareness in her initial tests.’” Amanda had started to shake. “Todd, that, those-”

"Amanda, you are freaking yourself out. Breathe, remember?" Todd pulled the file away from her, hastily stuffing one of Dirk' in her hand instead. "Just, focus on something else. Anything else."

But it begged the question, why were Todd and Amanda so utterly strange?

“Dirk’s file says he was the base for the genes for Gemini1980.” She said quietly. “Todd, that’s the year you were born. We have pararibulitis. What if-”

"Unless that means I can't date him, I don't have the mental capacity to consider that," Todd said, a little breathless. "We're gonna be fine. Uh, read, that one, or another one."

She tried to take a breath and looked down at the file. “Okay, um, what, what are you looking for?”

"I don't know. The sections on everyone's mental shit disappeared, that's what Farah said." She had been quite pissed off about it, actually, when it had happened.

“Okay, uh, oh, here. ‘Project Icarus has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety disorder which manifests in physical ticks as well as self-destructive behavior. Sh- he has a mild form of obsessive tendencies as shown in how focused he becomes. However, due to the incident dated April ‘93, it is evident that Icarus suffers from intense abandonment issues and will dissociate when isolated, so much so that regression has been documented. In this state, Icarus is highly susceptible to influence.’”

They were both silent for awhile. Todd had no idea what to say, except that he was now more worried than ever for Dirk.

"Maybe," he finally said, "We should pack these up and take them and keep robbing the place."

“I agree.” She said, setting the file down and looking rather worried. “Todd, you, you’d tell me, if, if you thought you had like, super powers, right?”

"Amanda, I don't have powers. Like, lying isn't a superpower." No, but the reason he was so good at it was a little strange. Todd just seemed to know what to say, in a way that he had known for a very long while wasn’t normal. It worked fine when he needed to lie for some reason, good or bad, but in regular situations it was awful. And didn't Amanda deserve to know that? So he told her as they bagged up some food in the kitchen.

“That, seems like a really stupid power.” She said after a moment. “You’re probably just, really good at reading people.”

"I mean, we could test it, I guess."

“How?” She asked. “If you lie to me, I’ll know you’re lying because we just talked about how you think your superpower is lying.”

"I mean, fair." Todd shrugged, not really having anything to lose. "I mean, your shirt is white.

“What does my shirt color have to do with anything?” She asked, turning to face him. “I like white.”

"Yeah," Todd said. Amanda was wearing all black today.

“Yeah isn’t an answer to that question, Todd.” She rolled her eyes, turning back to the cabinet, adding things to the bag before she slowed, looking down at her shirt.

"Yeah, so, that's terrifying," Todd said.

“You, how, no that-” she turned back, frowning. “Do it again.”

"What? I don't really want-"

“Dude, it’s not dangerous, just, that was a weird fluke, if you can do it twice or more it’s a thing. Just, do it again.”

"Jesus." Todd sighed, crossing his arms and trying not to look annoyed. "Did you forget to text mom back? You know she called you like, three times, right?"

“She did?” Amanda frowned, pulling out her phone. 

"Yeah." Todd pushed her hand and her phone down. "Don't you remember? Dude, she is so pissed at you."

“I-” Amanda looked a little confused, but nodded her head. “I know, she was mad I stopped going to the doctor, I tried to tell her it was fine, but she wouldn’t listen.”

"And because you threw out the pills she tried to give you." Which was something that never happened, but now Todd was curious how far he could push something.

“I should have just given them to you. I don’t know why I did, I just, I didn’t want her help you know?”

"How did you throw them out again? It was really rude."

“Down the drain.” Amanda said. She was starting to look a little dazed. “She was over, and she gave them to me and I poured them down the drain when she wouldn’t take them back. She yelled at me for an hour.”

"Yeah, that's why we're here, because she said you shouldn't come back to the house."

“Yeah, she, she-” Amanda frowned. “Wait, that, doesn’t make sense. Why, why would mom-”

"It makes sense, Amanda," Todd said quietly.

“It makes sense.” She repeated, watching him carefully. “Yeah, of course it does, I’m just, being stupid, sorry.”

"And what am I supposed to tell her now, man. you broke into someone's house."

“You, it was your idea though.” She said, looking a little panicked. “Come on man, don’t tell mom.”

"No, you came here alone, remember?"

“I, I did?” She glanced around. “I, no, I-”

"I wasn't here, Amanda," Todd said again, and the dazed look on Amanda got a little worse.

“You weren’t here, I, I came here alone.” When she looked back Todd could see what looked like blood in her nose. Was her nose starting to bleed? “I, why did I come here? I, don’t, I can’t remember-”

"Remember what?" Todd went back to talking more or less normally, because that was all he really could do.

“Remember?” Amanda frowned, looking at him. She reached up and touched her nose as a small drop of blood rolled out. “Why is my nose bleeding?”

"I, don't really know. I should just go test this on some stranger."

“Test?” She was still frowning before her eyes widened. “Oh! Oh. Dude. That, is trippy as shit, that- that really hurt my head. Less next time, dude.”

"Yeah, I'll just do that on someone I don't know. Are you okay?"

“I’m fine, just, the stuff you made up was easier to believe but, when you started trying to convince me of stuff I knew for a fact was wrong it hurt, you know? Like, when you said I came here alone.” She said, smiling. “But that was so cool.”

"It was not."

“Dude, you made me believe all this random crap about mom. Most of which I just filled in the details for! That’s awesome!”

"I mean, I wanna try again, but not on you," Todd said.

“We should try on someone we don’t know, who doesn’t know us, so we can convince them of something about us.” She said, smiling. “I think that’s gonna be your best bet.”

They both stared at each other for a moment.

"Do, you wanna go and-"

“I’ll find the hamster.” She said, already heading out of the room.

"I- wait! Dude, at least give ma a basis for what to lie about!" Todd raced after her, watching her scoop up the hamster and text Farah.

“Dude, in the nicest possible way, you’re a grade A liar. You got this.” Amanda said, setting the hamster on a chair.

"Come on. There has to be something. Something that will like, let me talk circles." 

“Oh! I have an idea.” She pulled out the wand, pointing it at herself. In the next moment, she was dressed in a nice suit and looked, nothing like herself. She then turned the wand on him. “We’ll tell him from Homeland, and we need information on the projects and Gemini.”

"I don't wanna question Riggins he's weird!"

But it was too late. Todd was already in a suit and at least a couple inches taller. 

“Then ask him whatever you want, dork.” Amanda said, waving the wand again before tucking it behind her back. The hamster had vanished and sitting in the chair was Riggins.

"No, Amanda, Farah needs to," Todd hissed. "Farah does!"

“You’re ridiculous.” Amanda rolled her eyes, looking back at the man who seemed rather confused. “Colonel Riggins, I’m Agent Hitchcock, this is my partner, Agent Scully, we’re from Homeland.”

"He already knows, Amanda. He agreed to tell Farah everything," Todd said.

“He did?” Amanda frowned, before nodding. “Yes, of course he did.”

"No, Amanda, I just said that so he would," Todd whispered, "Now let's leave so Farah can when she gets here."

“But our disguises.” She said, frowning. “Come on, we have to use them on something.”

"Then let's go find a neighbor, come on, these people are all rich anyway."

“Deal!” Amanda said, waving the wand and straps appeared, tying Riggins to the chair so he couldn’t leave before Farah arrived.

As they both wandered into the backyard, Todd found himself laughing along with Amanda.

"You're so ridiculous," he said.

“I like magic, what can I say.” She said, glancing toward the sound of a neighbor arguing, most likely on the phone. “Wanna go mess with someone?”

"I mean, yeah, sure-."

“Great, come on.” She pulled him along, and through the gate, right into the neighbor’s backyard.

“-better find me that- hey! Who the hell are you?” The man spotted them almost immediately. He had a nice watch, a nice phone, good clothes and he looked overly styled and groomed. This guy was definitely rich.

"We met last night, remember?" Todd shrugged.

“We, did.” The man frowned. “Just, I’ll call you back. What are you doing here?”

"You told me to come over."

“I didn’t mean for you to appear in my backyard.” The man said, starting to look a bit more relaxed.

"Don't lie, man. You said to come here because your front door was locked. You locked yourself out of your house." The doors were all closed, thank god.

“Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot. I was just dealing with some other business, it slipped my mind.” He said. “Thanks for coming. You didn’t happen to bring your key, did you?”

"No, I lent it to you last night. You lost that too. There's no way to go back inside."

“Well, shit.” The man muttered looking down at his phone. “I’ll just text Felicity and let her-”

"No. You only want to talk to us two. You hate Felicity."

“I, guess.” The man frowned.

“Todd.” Amanda hissed. “Make stuff up, don’t poke at real stuff.”

"Sorry," Todd whispered back. "I'm glad you called me over, you said you were just so pissed you can't go inside."

“I mean anyone would be.” The man said, putting his phone in his pocket and moving closer. “Locked out of your own house is the worst.”

"And you don't want to have to break those windows, I mean, they look new." Todd nodded.

“Whole place is new, I can’t afford to break the windows.” The dazed look Amanda had had appeared on the man’s face.

"You said on the phone you were just gonna sleep outside."

“Gonna have to. Felicity isn’t gonna be home for a few days, we haven’t been getting on, you know.”

"Really?" Todd tried to ignore Amanda's giggling.

“Yeah, she’s been sleeping around. I hate her.”

"Well, so have we."

“You’ve been sleeping with Felicity?” The man glared.

"No. We have." It was still made up, at least. Todd was just making everything up at this point.

“What the hell man, I thought we were friends?” The man had lost the dazed look and now seemed rather angry. Amanda was pulling on Todd’s sleeve, clearly trying to warn him this was a bad route.

“We told you that.” Amanda interjected, drawing the man’s attention. “I mean, you remember, last week. Right, Todd?”

"Uh, yeah, we did." Todd frowned at her, but trusted her judgement. "So, anyway, that's not why I came over. I came to help you set up a tent out here, remember?"

“You, yeah,” the man was back to looking dazed and confused. “Yeah, I just, all my camping gear is in the garage.”

"Damn, that needs a key too." Todd quietly apologized to Amanda on the side, trying to show her that he was genuinely sorry. 

“Do you want me to break in?” The man asked.

Amanda frowned, glancing over at him. He was watching Todd rather expectantly, the same dazed look on his face.

"No, it's fine. You don't need a tent." Todd just shrugged at her. 

“I don’t need a tent.” The man nodded, still standing there watching Todd.

"You did like, the same thing," Todd whispered before standing up a little straighter. "So, are you just gonna lay on the grass?"

“Do you want me to lay on the grass?”

"Uh, no."

“Okay.” The man nodded, his eyes never leaving Todd.

“I, don’t remember doing this.” Amanda said quietly.

"What's your name," Todd asked.

“Jason Schmidt.”

"Oh, hey, you just remembered where your keys are. Let's go inside." Truth be told, it was getting a little chilly and Amanda was shivering.

Jason turned without so much as a word and turned back to the house, heading for the door. Amanda glanced over at Todd, looking a little concerned. 

“Does he seem, broken?” She asked.

"I have no idea. I guess we have to, find out or something?"

“After you.” She said, gesturing toward the house.

They followed after Jason and found him standing perfecting still in the kitchen, tracking Todd with his eyes as he walked in.

"You wanted to show us around?" 

“I want to show you around.” He said, heading for the hall. “There’s the living room. A bathroom, and office and the stairs. Upstairs are the bedrooms and two more bathrooms.”

"Oh, and you said you would, uh, cook some dinner." Todd and Amanda both were just confused too at this point.

“I’ll cook some dinner.” He said, walking past them back toward the kitchen. 

“Dude, I think you broke him.” Amanda hissed, following close to Todd.

"This is both of our faults."

Todd wandered slowly into the kitchen, watching Jason with a frown. He was pulling out food to cook, doing so silently.

“Hey, Jason, what do you do?” Amanda asked, but got no response.

"Where do you work," Todd asked.

“A brokerage firm.” Jason said without looking up from the food he was preparing.

"Do you like it?"

“No.”

"Then why don't you just like, quit or something?"

Jason stopped, looking up at Todd.

“Do you want me to quit?”

"Uh-" Fuck. "Sure?"

Jason nodded his head and turned toward the knife block on the counter.

“Todd.” Amanda hissed as Jason grabbed the largest knife there. “Todd, I don’t think-”

"I panicked! I don't know how to fix it," Todd whispered. He was very close to crying, and had already decided to never use this again.

“No, Todd, tell him to stop!” Amanda waved the wand and Jason froze, the knife in his hand had been turned on himself and was posed to be shoved into his chest. “Holy fuck. Okay, um-”

"Jason, just forget this whole thing ever happened," Todd whined, "So we can go home."

Amanda flicked the wand again and the knife vanished as Jason started to move again. He frowned, looking up at them with a confused look. “Who are you?”

“We’re inspectors. With the city. Looking into a gas leak. Your house has been flagged as one of the possible sites. Symptoms include, aggression, loss of time, poor, health. We highly suggest you get a motel for a week while we fix the issue. We’ll send someone out later. Thank you for your time Mr. Schmidt!” Amanda said, pulling Todd along after her.

Todd recommended a motel far from theirs, and then they ran.

Todd was having a panic attack by the time they made it back to the motel, mumbling about never using that again and finding himself glad the others were at the other house.

Amanda got rid of the magical disguises and sat down next to Todd on the bed.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly.

"Never again, never again," Todd mumbled, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry I encouraged you, we shouldn’t’ve tried that without like, Farah or Martin.”

"I got through my life without using it like that. I'll get through the rest of it."

“But still.” She said quietly. “It’s, still cool in small doses. You’d be great at making kids take medicine.”

"What are we," todd asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“I, don’t know.” Amanda said, taking Todd’s hand. “We’re not like them, but, we’re not normal either.”

"You're holistic. Maybe not like your family, but you are," Todd whispered. "Do you ever get the feeling that, we're gonna be fucked? Everyone is just fucked. We won't save Dirk on time, Riggins knows nothing "

“I think that’s the anxiety talking.” She said, leaning against him. “I can see the future, you can make people believe stuff. Together, we can do anything. You’re my brother.”

"Dirk is doomed," Todd whispered, closing his eyes.

Dirk had been right after all. The universe just didn't care.


	15. Killer

"I don't want to talk to Ken," Dirk told Priest. He was a little hesitant to be so sarcastic now, and he wasn't very sure why, but it was some odd mixture of guilt and fear that came up every time he was.

“No one does.” Priest said, leaning in close and kissing him. “But it ain’t gonna be long, and if ya’ do it right, I’ll give ya’ somthin’ to be happy ‘bout tonight.”

"Do I have to?"

“Yes.”

Dirk sighed, pulling his sweater closer and nodding. "I suppose, you're the boss."

“I am the boss.” Priest smirked. “Now, get goin’, meet in the gym after, and then later, we’ll try the wall again.”

"Oh, very funny," Dirk said quietly, climbing out of the bed. "I'm just, doing it, so, I can eat dinner."

“You’ll definitely need dinner.” Priest nodded, still laying in bed.

"I think I'm just going to sleep tonight."

“You’re no fun.” Priest rolled his eyes. “Fine, we can sleep tonight.”

"I'm sorry," Dirk whispered, wandering towards the door. "I know you're usually in charge of whatever but I just, want to sleep, you know?"

“You owe me tomorrow. It can count as your cardio.” Priest smirked.

"Alright, Mr. Priest."

Dirk vaguely remembered how to get to Ken's office. After a few minutes he found himself standing outside of it, hesitant, and knocked as softly as he could.

“Come in.”

Dirk slowly pushed the door open, nodding a silent greeting to Ken.

“How are you doing, Svlad?” He asked, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

"Fine," Dirk said softly. He pulled the chair back a little bit before he sat down.

“That’s good. We want to make sure you feel at home here.” Ken said. “Priest says you have been performing very well. Is that right?”

"I suppose."

“Good, well, as you can guess, we are ready to offer you employment. What do you say?”

"I- I'm not, I don't-"

“Mr. Priest would no longer be a part of your training.”

"But he's in charge."

“No, Svlad, I am. Osmund Priest is to an employee of Blackwing and therefore would not be a handler over Blackwing employees.”

"I have to listen, though." Ken just wouldn’t understand, Dirk thought.

“Yes, to me.”

"I'm very confused. I know how employee hierarchy works, I simply meant that I also have to listen to him, too."

“You wouldn’t if you agreed to be an agent.”

"You're just going to have to ask him."

Ken sighed, looking oddly annoyed. “Alright. Well, I suppose that’s all I needed from you, Mr. Cjelli. Oh, would you mind taking these.”

He handed over a file marked Gemini.

“Some light reading.”

"You should come with me," Dirk said, ignoring the awfully important pull he felt towards the file.

“I’m terribly busy, Dirk. Just take the file and head off to whatever nonsense he has you doing.”

Dirk felt heat from behind his eyes and he hurried out the door. He was already crying by the time he got to the end of the hall, and his face was red when he finally got back to his room.

Priest was still there and looked a little surprised.

“That was quick. What’d’ya got there?”

Dirk shook his head, throwing the file onto the table and collapsing onto the bed. Priest gave a sigh and draped over him.

“It’s alright, I’m here.” Priest said quietly.

"He's terribly confusing. I don't understand."

“He’s just tryin’ to get in your head, Svlad. But younre smarter than he is. Just do what you know is right.” Priest said.

"But I don't know."

Dirk wasn't upset because of the offer, he was just confused about the rest of the conversation. He managed to calm down though, pulling closer to Priest as he told him.

“Well, now. I ain’t gonna go anywhere.” Priest said, looking a bit annoyed at what Dirk told him about what Ken had to say. “Just ignore Ken, I’ll deal with him.”

"Yes, alright," Dirk mumbled, burying his face in the blanket. "I will."

“Good, now come on. Gym.” Priest said, kissing the side of Dirk’s head.

Oh yes, he had forgotten about that.

Dirk fell behind a little while they walked, another twinge in his chest that he needed to be somewhere. He paused, just for a moment, looking down one of the halls they passed with a frown. Where on earth would he need to be? Why was he so sure he needed to be there?

“Svlad.” Priest called from down the hall. “Come on.”

Dirk looked at the hallway a moment longer and then hurried forward.

"Do you ever feel like you need to be somewhere," Dirk asked.

“No. That’s not how mine works.” Priest said, pushing the door to the gym open.

"It's probably just nothing," Dirk mumbled, shaking his head.

“Probably.” Priest said. “You’ll be doing two hours of cardio and one of strength training. Go.”

The feeling persisted, and Dirk found it so incredibly annoying that he ended up going past what he did normally in the gym because he wasn't paying attention. It faded of course like all feelings do, but not nearly fast enough.

“Svlad?” Priest’s voice sounded distant. “Svlad, you need to take a break.”

"What's down that hallway, Mr. Priest?"

“What hallway?” Priest frowned, reaching around Dirk and turning the treadmill off. “You’ve been sprinting for an hour, you need to take a break.”

"The hallway I was looking down." Dirk leaned up against him, realizing that he was in fact a little winded.

“Just some more rooms for subjects.” Priest said, leading him over to a seat and producing a bottle of water.

"Could I go down there?" Dirk weighed the bottle in his hands before opening it up, trying to give himself time to think about things.

“I suppose.” Priest said, speaking slowly, like he was thinking. “Ya’ know? Yeah, ya’ can. After ya’ finish up here.”

"Really?" Dirk's eyes widened, and he leaned up to kiss Priest on the cheek.

“Absolutely. Just finish up here. Do whatever it is ya’ want and then meet me for dinner.” Priest said smiling softly as he rubbed Dirk’s neck. “I’m gonna go talk to Ken. Think ya’ can manage the rest of the gym on your own?”

"Yes, probably."

Admittedly, Dirk rushed through his routine. He was becoming much better at the strength portion of it, something that he was sure would be pointed out when he finally wore something other than a sweater and other baggy clothes. But once he was done he jumped up and ran off, forgetting his water bottle to chase his feeling.

The hallway was eerily quiet.

Dirk felt that perhaps there should have been some sort of noise, a dripping pipe or a humming guard, but there was nothing. Dirk stopped at a particular door in the middle of the hall.

This was what he needed, somehow.

Dirk knocked on the door, because he couldn't open it himself. There was a shuffling on the other side before it was pulled open.

Their hair was pulled back in a ponytail and they weren’t covered in dried blood, but it was clearly Bart.

"Bartine!" Dirk's eyes widened. "Oh! It's you! Hello!"

“Dirk?” Bart frowned. “What’re ya’ doin’ here?”

"Oh, I'm here now, it's perfectly fine. Why are you here? Why am I happy to see you?" Dirk didn't address the other question; he had been starting to feel conflicted and confused about his name.

“You’re, here now?” They frowned deeper. “Why?”

"Because I chose to."

“Well that's stupid.” They smirked, but stepped aside. “Come’n I guess.”

"I'm very happy to see you! I haven't seen someone I really know in awhile. Which, I don't know you very well but I think we're some sort of friend- oh!" Dirk turned on his heels to face them as soon as he got inside. "I'm so sorry for leaving you at the station! See, we got attacked, and by the time we were able to come back you had already left."

“I went with Panto.” An odd look crossed Bart’s face. “Killed the bad guys.”

"Oh Panto! Did you know he's finally getting married next fall?"

Dirk hadn’t seen Bart look murderous towards him for quite some time, but that certainly was the look. “Get out.”

"Wh- no, Bart, I didn't mean to upset you," Dirk said softly.

“I watched him die. Watched the boyfriend die. Everybody dies, all the time. And ya’ think it’s funny to joke-”

"They all did. Even the Rowdy Three but- see, I was on a case to get the boy, you remember, and I did, and he fixed it."

“What are ya’ mouthin’ about?” They looked ready to stab Dirk.

"Nothing." Dirk sighed. "Oh, but don't kick me out, I have no other friends here."

“We ain’t friends. Ya’ made that pretty clear.” They huffed, turning away from him and wandering over to lay on their bed.

"Well, I want to be friends," Dirk said quietly.

“I don’t need friends. They end up dead or assholes.” They muttered.

"Bart, I understand that. Most of my friends do too. Most all of them do."

“So then we don’t need each other.” The said, hunching their shoulders as they stared at the wall.

"But, we're not like other people, are we? It gets so lonely in here," Dirk whispered, still not moving from his spot.

“Been here, a while, ain’t nobody cared before.” They muttered.

"I care. I only just found out you were here. Do you like ice cream? They have some, in this back room I know of."

Bart rolled over, frowning at him.

“They lettin’ ya’ walk around?”

"Probably not back there, but, I've never particularly cared when food is involved."

Bart was still frowning as they stood and walked over to Dirk, slowly poking him in the chest.

“Ya’ hangin’ out with Mr. Priest?”

"Well, maybe-"

Bart snorted, their features softening as much as they could. “Makes sense.”

"Yes," Dirk said slowly, not really understanding. "Do you want to go find ice cream?"

“Why not. Lead the way, pretty boy.”

"Oh yes, I just need to find a way to open the-" Bart walked towards the door and it opened easily, and Dirk's voice faded. "The, door."

“Ain’t nothin’ can hold me.” Bart said. “I just don’t go nowhere.”

"Oh, well, come on."

Dirk hurried out of the room before the door could close behind him, and they wandered down the hallway. Bart really wasn't that bad when they weren’t threatening to kill Dirk, and though Priest might disapprove of ice cream, he felt he should go and get some anyway.

A voice appeared in the distance, someone standing in front of the door they needed, and they both paused.

"Odd," Dirk said, "I don't think anyone is supposed to be on their phone during work hours."

“They ain’t.” Bart sighed, looking rather annoyed as the took the lead.

"Ah- Bart, I don't think we're supposed to-"

Bart had picked up the baton that the agent must have left, and Dirk paused. 

Oh dear.

He didn’t get another step before he heard a loud series of bone crunching smacks from around the corner.

"Oh no," Dirk groaned, hearing a single-noted warning sound over the loudspeakers. He hurried forward, pinching his nose at the blood and trying not to look.

Dirk picked up the blood splattered phone that had fallen down, and frowned. It was saying something about exchanging documents, and it certainly wasn't to someone in America.

“Get goin’, Dirk.” Bart said quietly. They were leaning against the wall, somehow covered in blood. “Guards’ll be comin’. I’ll deal with it.”

"It's fine." Dirk turned around just as a few guards and Priest came hurrying around the corner. "Oh, Mr. Priest. I regret to say this may be my fault, I felt like we needed to come here, but I found this, it's quite odd."

“Drop the phone, Svlad.” Priest said, glancing over at Bart. “Bart, see yam decided to come out today.”

One of the guards snatched the phone from Svlad scrolling for a few moments before cutting off the conversation Bart and Priest were having to hand the phone to him.

Priest scrolled through the phone for a moment before smirking. “Well, looks like ya’ two managed to take out a spy. Nice work.”

"What?" Dirk frowned. What was he talking about?

“Johnson here was arranging to duplicate and sell files to, the Russians it seems. So, good job.” Priest said.

Dirk and Bart exchanged confused looks and Dirk shrugged.

"Am I in trouble," he asked, "I didn't mean to, do, well, cause this. I just, felt like we should come down here but I never would have guessed-"

“Ya’ ain’t in trouble.” Priest said. “Bart go clean up, same to you Svlad, wait for me in the room.”

"Oh, yes. Sorry," Dirk mumbled, ducking around the guards.

Dirk didn't have an extra pair of clothes at the moment, so after he got out of the shower he just grabbed his uniform instead, because that wasn't covered in blood, and he hurried off to his room. He wrapped his covers around himself; he had forgotten how chilly his room was in his uniform, and he was fairly sure the clothes were tighter too.

Priest wasn’t long after that, and laid down next Dirk as soon as he came in. 

“I’m so proud of ya’.” Priest said, in between kissing Dirk’s face.

"I didn't do anything," Dirk said, unable to get rid of the sight of the mangled body from his mind. Had that been his fault?

“You caught someone doing something bad and took care of it. That’s exactly what I want you to do.” Priest said, getting closer as he ran his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “I am so proud of ya’.”

"I just, I knew I needed Bart, and then I felt, I needed to go down there," Dirk said quietly.

“Ya’ did good, Svlad.” Priest said. “Real good.”

"Thank you," Dirk finally said, leaning a little into the contact. "What did you talk to Ken about?"

“Just how I’ve been trainin’ ya’, don’t worry.” Priest said. Dirk didn’t notice the strip of cloth until it was being secured around his eyes, making it completely impossible to see anything.

"Wh- hey!" Dirk huffed.

“Relax.” Priest said, running his hands along Dirk’s neck. “I’ve got ya’.”

"I don't like the dark, though."

“It ain’t actually dark.” Priest said, he shifted again and Dirk felt something near his ears. “Trust me.”

They were the last words Dirk heard before what he could only assume were noise cancelling headphones were placed over his ears.

Dirk didn't trust this, not at all, and he immediately tried to sit up as panic seized his chest. But Priest was on top of him, sitting on his chest and holding his hands in place.

He couldn’t move, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. This was like solitary all over again.

Oh, he didn't like it.

He stopped pulling at some point and just started shaking. But Priest didn’t seem to care, kissing in random spots and making Dirk jump. It was becoming harder and harder to think.

Somewhere along the way his brain decided it had had enough stress and he finally fell asleep, which wasn't any better, because he just had nightmares about solitary.

But at least he was asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a couple days since the whole thing with Riggins and the realization that Todd might be less normal than he thought. In that time, Todd had almost stopped speaking entirely, a little afraid he might say something wrong. He knew it was silly, he’d live most of his life without having an issue, he more than likely wouldn’t have one now, but still.

He was sitting in a different motel room, slowly making his way through some food, rubbing at his side absentmindedly.

"Todd?" Farah was back. She wandered inside, and then froze. "Is, are you still trying to finish lunch?"

“I, yeah, why?” Todd frowned. It had taken a while but it wasn’t that long, was it?

"Because it's almost five," Farah said softly, pulling the plate away as gently as she could. Farah knew what happened, she had been told, and so she knew why Todd was acting so strange.

“Oh, sorry.” Todd said, watching the plate. “I guess it’s more dinner than breakfast at this point.”

"It's okay. You ate, which, is an improvement," Farah said. She set it down on the counter near the sink, pulling a bag from her pocket. "I managed to pick up your pills, finally."

“Yeah?” Todd looked up, more than a bit excited at the prospect of not having attacks for a while. “Thanks, you, didn’t have to, so, thanks.”

"The surveillance on you is dramatically lessening," Farah said, leaning over to hand the bag to Todd. 

“Is, that a good thing?” Todd asked, not totally sure if it was or not.

"For you, yeah. It means we can go home soon."

“Oh, good.” Todd said. He wasn’t sure why, but the idea of going home without Dirk felt wrong. “That’s, good.”

"Though, if they're losing interest, then, I'm a little worried," she said. She pulled down a box of cereal, eating it dry, which was something she only did when she was overly anxious; Todd knew that from running around with her for two months when Dirk had first been kidnapped forever ago.

“Why?” Todd asked, fighting the urge to take the box from her.

"Because then what's Dirk doing that's so interesting?"

“Priest is there, so he’s doing what they want.” Todd said quietly.

He remembered how he had felt by this point into his interaction with Priest, he’d be surprised if Dirk didn’t feel the same. Farah spoke, pausing with a handful of cereal.

"I hope he's okay."

“Me too.” Todd nodded, looking back at the table. “Do you think we’ll find him?”

"I hope," she whispered. "Especially since, it's just, really easy to exploit Dirk with the mental issues he's dealing with."

“Oh yes, the files.” Todd sighed. “How are those coming?”

"Great. Gripps and Cross are really good at organization."

“That’s good.” Todd said, feeling a little uneasy. “And, um, that, Gemini, stuff?”

"It's filed."

“I meant more, did, you read it?” Todd asked slowly.

"I did. And it's fine."

“It’s, fine?” Todd asked, frowning slightly. He didn’t exactly feel fine with finding out he was an experiment, but he was still him, he supposed.

"Yeah. I mean, our whole friend group is weird, this isn't out of the ordinary."

“Oh, so, you also got experimented on before birth and have some weird version of your best friend’s psychic gene?”

"Todd-"

“Or your sister was attempt number two when you didn’t show any sort of aptitude?” Todd felt an odd pain in his chest, days of stress finally bubbling over. “And your parents were paid to have you, right?”

"Todd," Farah said, her voice quiet.

“I always felt like my parents didn’t want kids, I never understood why they tried again, maybe I wasn’t good enough. But I get it now. They didn’t want kids at all, they got paid to have us.” Todd muttered, looking down at his hands.

Farah sighed, wandering over to sit next to him in silence.

"It says, when Amanda was little, she was really strange," she said after a moment. "But her mom decided not to give her to them."

“So they tried again and liked Amanda better, great.” Todd mumbled.

"That's not it." Farah was trying not to look frustrated. "I'm sorry this happened."

“It’s fine.” Todd mumbled. “It’s not your fault. I just, it feels like there’s part of myself I didn’t even know what there, ya’ know? And it, scares me, a lot.”

"I know it does." Farah wasn't a very touchy person, but she reached out, gently patting Todd's back.

“I’ve been thinking about it, because, what else am I supposed to do?” Todd said quietly. “I don’t, I don’t think it really, started working until I was an adult. Like, I’ve, always kind of known what to say, but this, full on, belief thing, didn’t start until later.”

"We aren't scared of you."

“I know, I just-“ Todd tried not to feel hopeless. “I’m scared of me, just, a little. Enough. And I don’t know what to do.”

"Do, you, want a hug?"

“Do, you want to give me a hug?” Todd asked, looking up. “I know touching isn’t really your thing.”

Farah sighed, and then she pulled him into a hug, her arms wrapped loosely around him. He relaxed a little, pulling her as close as he dared.

“We have to find him, Farah. I never got to tell him.” He said quietly.

"Tell him what?"

“That, that I like him.” Todd said quietly. “I couldn’t work up the stupid nerve to ask him out, so, I went out alone, and, I, I ran into Mr. P- Priest, and-”

Farah started laughing, letting go of Todd to cover her face.

“Well I’m never coming out to you again, dick.” Todd muttered, leaning away from her and trying not to feel oddly crushed.

"God, he likes you too. That's all he talks about," Farah said with a snort. "'Did you see Todd's new shirt'? 'We hugged for ten seconds does that mean he hates me'? 'Todd took his shirt off and I couldn't focus'."

Todd frowned. “He does?”

"He's such a dork about you," Farah said with a smile. 

“But I’m not his type.“ Todd said.

"And yet, me and Amanda have listened to very long rants about how attractive you are and how you'll never like him." Fatah rolled her eyes. "He just, he was nervous. There are things about his past he wants to tell you first."

Oh.

“Priest told me.“

Farah froze, surprise crossing her face.

"He, did?"

“He, well, he had a picture, of Dirk, and, he, heavily implied that-“

"What picture? I- hold on." Farah stood, rushing over to the pile of Dirk's files they still had. She pulled out a folder and held it out. "There are copies of some in here, of him. Any of these ones?"

“Um, no, they, he was younger, it was him and Mona.”

"Oh. Oh!" Farah out that down and picked up another, seemingly trying to find something. "Yeah, yeah. It says, that, Riggins let Mona use a camera. It was Dirk's birthday, and he was still having a little trouble walking from some sort of incident, so he gave Mona the camera to help Dirk feel better." Then she paused again, looking up at Todd with a careful expression. "How do you feel about it?"

“About a child not being able to walk? Not great.”

"About Dirk being trans."

“Oh, I, I don’t care.” Todd said, feeling heat rise into his cheeks. “He’s, Dirk.”

"Yeah." Farah nodded, finally smiling at Todd. "We got this, right?"

“I hope so.” Todd said quietly. “Dirk, he, he can’t stay with Priest, Farah. We have to get him back.”

"We will. We'll find a way." Farah nodded. She kept shifting her weight around, and in a moment she went back to the cereal box.

“Are you okay?” Todd asked, watching her.

"Yeah, why?"

“Because you’re eating dry cereal.”

"That's dumb. i know that." Farah scoffed, but it only lasted for a moment before she sighed and put the box down. She bit her lip, closing her eyes. "I'm really worried."

“I couldn’t tell.” 

"Dirk is lonely," Farah said, glaring at him. "He's just lonely. He wants to feel like someone loves him and that's so easy to exploit!"

“I, I know that.” Todd frowned.

"I'm scared for him," Farah said, clenching the kitchen counter until her knuckles turned pale. 

“I am too.” Todd said, trying to sound agreeable.

"God, I'm worried," she repeated, her features softening. "I'm sorry, I'm being a dick."

“It’s fine, I get it.”

"What are they doing to him?"

“Nothing good.” Todd muttered. “Priest said they wanted him to be an agent.”

Farah groaned and went back to eating, looking away from him.

“He’s gonna train Dirk to be just like him.” Todd said quietly.

"He just wants people to like him."

“I know.” Todd said, looking down at the table. 

Farah was silent after that, standing there in her intimate anxiety and mulling over the issue. Todd sighed and pushed up out of the chairs.

“Where are the files?”

"Which ones?"

“Any of them, I’m looking for an address.” Todd said, finding a few of the files near the bed.

"For what?"

“For Blackwing. I’m going to get him.” 

"Don't you think we've checked?" Farah sighed. "We have nothing. Even if we did, we don't have the means to get him. He might not want to leave."

“I have to do something. I have been hurt and useless and I need to fix this.”

"And what? Kidnap him? He will believe every bad thing they say about us." Farah shook her head, looking completely hopeless. "We have to find a different way."

“How?” Todd said, turning to look at her. “The longer we do nothing the less likely he’ll ever come with us.”

"We don't have anything." Farah glared at him, before collapsing onto the couch. "But, I promise we can keep thinking tomorrow. I'm exhausted, Todd."

“But-”

"Please."

Todd sighed, waving a hand at her slightly. “Fine, sorry. I’ll give ya’ some space.”

He headed out of the motel room, wandering into the parking lot and leaning against Farah’s car. 

This was so many levels of messed up and he didn’t even know where to start fixing it.


	17. Chapter 17

Dirk hated it.

He hated it.

He didn't want to wake up, preferring instead to stay in his dreams. He was fairly sure that Priest must have fallen asleep on top of him, so when Dirk woke up in the middle of the night he kept lying there, not trying to move. Was it really night? Did it matter, since he couldn't see anyway?

He felt Priest move slightly and the blindfold and headphones were removed ever so gently. Priest laid down beside him, holding onto him in his state of half sleep.

What had just happened?

Dirk just laid there, still shaking and taking shallow breaths, but that was all he did.

“Ya’ doin’ alright there, darlin’?”

"I'm okay, Mr. Priest," Dirk managed to say after a few moments.

“Ya’ sure?” Priest asked, rubbing at Dirk’s neck.

"Yes. Just confused." Was he alright? Dirk honestly couldn't tell 

“‘Bout what, darlin’?”

"What happened."

“Well, ya’ did a good job, I rewarded ya’ and ya’ passed out.” Priest said.

"I didn't like that," Dirk said softly, curling in on himself and getting closer to Priest.

“Ah, now, come on, ya’ liked it.” Priest said softly. “Ain’t good to lie, Dirk.”

"But, I don't think I did, did I?" Dirk buried his face in Priest's shirt, trying not to sound as stupid as he felt.

“Ya’ did, of course ya’ did.” Priest said, running his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “Trust me.”

"Alright."

Priest continued to stroke Dirk’s hair and it was relaxing, enough that he almost felt himself calming down.

"Would you have to stop doing things if I took Ken's offer?"

“Ya’ wouldn’t do that, would ya’?”

"I- but, I am still a prisoner, and I don't want to be, but you're supposed to be in charge of me."

“And if I am you’ll be able to go outside in a week. But if ya’ take Ken’s offer, ya’ ain’t ever gonna leave.” Priest said. “Ya’ want to go outside, don’t ya’?”

"Yes," Dirk whispered. "You, want me to stay a subject?"

“Of course I don’t. I want you to be happy. I make you happy, don’t I?“

"Yes. I am happy. Being a subject just comes with, so little freedom."

“It does, and if you do what I say, and don’t take Ken’s offer, you’ll have as much freedom as you want.“

"I do what you say," Dirk said, pulling closer. "We're not going to do that, thing, that happened last night again are we?"

“Wow, was I really that bad?“

"The dark is scary."

“Oh, that. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.“ Priest said. “I would have thought little Icarus would have been used to the dark.“

"You sound like you think we should." Oh, Dirk wasn't sure how he felt about that name.

“I know what’s best, don’t I?“

"Yes, you do."

“Then I will do what’s best for both of us.“ He said. “You don’t have to worry your sweet little head over anything.“

"Well, if, if so, I suppose you could." And then, because it felt right, "Thank you."

“Ya’ are so very welcome.” Priest said, kissing Dirk’s forehead. “Get some rest, Svlad, busy day tomorrow.”

"What are we doing?"

“Same as always, gym and combat training, and, if you’re good, weapons training.”

"What am I training for," Dirk asked in a quiet voice, finally feeling calm.

“Field work. It’s just basic training. Everyone does it.” Priest said, resting his chin against the top of Dirk’s head.

"I suppose, maybe I don't need to take Ken's offer. You'll know what's best."

“I do, and you shouldn’t.” Priest said, pulling the blanket closer around them.

"Alright."

Dirk closed his eyes again, still hating the dark, but at least he knew it was safe.

A Week Later

"Thank you for the sweater, Ken," Dirk said softly, running his fingers over the soft fabric of the sweater ken had given him.

“Of course. And have you considered my offer anymore?“ Ken asked.

"I, don't want to take it," Dirk said, missing the flash of satisfaction on Ken's face.

“Pity. So, will you be working under priest?“ Ken asked.

"Well I, he also has charge over me, doesn't he?"

“He does, you’re right.” Ken nodded. “I just meant, would we be contracting you for missions and such?”

"If he wants me to. I'm not exactly very free to go out on my own." Dirk shrugged, pulling his sweater close so Ken couldn't take it.

“Well, I look forward to seeing you in action Agent Cjelli.” Ken said, glancing over as Priest strolled in through the doors of the mess hall. “I have some work to get back to, excellent speaking with you.”

"Mr. Priest, I've got a sweater," Dirk said, gesturing to the fabric in his arms.

“Do ya’?” Priest asked, giving Ken a look as they passed each other before he wrapped an arm around Dirk’s waist, pulling him close. “That buearcrat tryin’ to butter ya’ up? Ask about his deal again?”

"I told him no." Dirk leaned closer and laid his chin on Priest's shoulder. "Technically, it's your sweater, you have charge. Can I wear it?"

“Course ya’ can, you’ll need it, we’re goin’ out today.”

"Outside?" Dirk held his sweater tighter. "Really?"

“Yeah, I got some errands to run, figured ya’ could come along. Unless ya’ don’t want to.”

"I can! I'll stay close, I promise." Oh, Dirk would love to go somewhere outside of the compound. 

“Good, come on.” Priest said, heading toward the garage. 

"May I have something sweet with dinner, if I'm good," Dirk asked, attaching himself to Priest's side.

“Course ya’ can, darlin’.” Priest said, leading him over to a rather boring looking car. 

"Does this mean I have to spend more time in the dark?" Dirk didn't hate it, it was just something he had to do; and no one else seemed to dislike it.

“Not tonight, I have other plans for tonight.” Priest smirked. “No matter how ya’ act.”

"Oh." Dirk's face turned a distinct shade of pink and he crawled into the car, slipping his sweater over his head.

The drove for a bit, the tall trees reminding him very much of Seattle. They most likely weren’t that far, but it felt like a lifetime ago. There wasn’t even really a part of him that wanted to go back.

"You wouldn't make me leave Blackwing, would you," he asked. "I can barely decide on colors that I like, let alone other things."

“Ya’ ain’t ever gonna be away from me. I promise.” Priest said, taking Dirk’s hand.

"That's good. You're very much smarter than I am."

“I am indeed.“ Priest said, as they pulled up in front of a store. “I am going to go get some food, how about you go pick out something for dessert?“

"Alright. Please don't go far."

“Well, I’m paying, so I’m not going to leave the store without you.“ He said as they got out of the car.

"I know, but I need you," Dirk said softly. 

“I need you to. Hurry along. I’ll wait by the coffee stand for you.” Priest said.

Dirk nodded and hurried off, trying to grab a small thing of ice cream as quick as he could. As he walked he had the strangest feeling that someone was watching him, but every time he turned, there was never anyone there.

He had a hunch, but he didn't like it.

Dirk finally made it to the frozen aisle and pulled the first door open, grabbing some plain ice cream.

He heard a yelp from the end of the aisle, but when he looked, there was no one there. He was fairly certain that he was being followed at this point, but he couldn’t imagine who would be doing it, as he was already technically working for Blackwing.

Dirk slowly walked out of the aisle, but he couldn't see anyone so he just wandered over to where Priest was ordering coffee.

“Hey there, darlin'.“ Priest said, pulling Dirk close and kissing him.

"Hello," Dirk said, relaxing a little, "Is ice cream alright?"

“Ice cream is perfect.“ He said, smiling down at him. “Have any trouble?“

"There is someone following me." Dirk said this as quiet as he could, glancing back at the crowd behind them.

“I know. I spotted them earlier, but they won’t bother you now. You’re with me.“ Priest said, kissing Dirk again.

"I'm perfectly safe."

““Completely and totally safe.“ Priest said. He was looking at a spot just over Dirk’s shoulder, and odd smile on his face. 

"Can I look?" Dirk wanted to look, but he needed to ask first. Priest seemed to think about it for a moment, but nodded his head.

Dirk turned to see a terrified face in the crowd, a familiar face, and he instantly drew away from it.

“It’s alright.” Priest whispered, holding tighter to Dirk’s middle as he kissed his forehead. “They won’t try anythin', you’re safe.”

Dirk saw Farah grab Todd's arm as he stepped forward, and he curled into Priest like he could make them disappear.

“Ready to go?” Priest asked quietly.

"Please."

Priest grabbed his coffee and pulled Dirk over towards a checkout stand. They were quick getting through and back in the car before Dirk really had a chance to notice. Priest was almost immediately touching him; petting his hair, and cheeks, rubbing his neck, cradling his face.

“Are ya’ alright?” Priest asked quietly.

Dirk shook his head, finally hearing the sound of uneven breathing that he was making.

"I wasn't expecting to see them."

“I wasn’t either. I’m so sorry, Svlad. How can I make it up to ya’?”

"It isn't your fault," Dirk whispered.

“Let me help ya’ forget, Svlad.” Priest said quietly. “If ya’ let me help, I can fix it.”

"I'm alright. I really just need a moment." Dirk shook his head. "Who am I, Mr. Priest?"

“You’re Svlad, and you’re mine.” Priest said softly, watching him carefully. “Say it.”

"What?" Had he heard Priest wrong?

“Say it.” Priest repeated. “You’re Svlad and you’re mine.”

"My- isn't my name-"

“Svlad.” Priest said, still cupping Dirk’s face. It was honestly getting a little hard to think.

"My, name- my name is, Svlad," he said slowly. 

“And?”

"And, I am- I, am yours."

“Again.”

"Why-"

“Again, Svlad.” Priest said, watching him closely.

"I am… I am, Svlad, and, I am yours." He didn't like that.

“I am so proud of you.” Priest said quietly, rubbing his thumb against Dirk’s cheek.

"I don't like that name," he said softly.

“What should I call you then?”

"I-" What was the answer? "I don't know. Am I Svlad?"

“You are.” Priest nodded, bringing their foreheads together. “Trust me.”

"Alright."

Priest still held onto his hand as they drove back to base and Dirk couldn’t help to think that maybe Priest was right. Dirk would have gone with Farah and Todd, but he had stayed with Priest, maybe he wasn’t Dirk anymore.

As they climbed out of the car he decided he wouldn’t let himself fall back into old habits. Everyone wanted him to be Svlad, to be an agent, to be less emotional and more sure.

So that was exactly who he was going to be.


End file.
